#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 2, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. How can it be October already? How can it not, you might say. I’m joining in wiht #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10PM as I start typing this, so no more coffee or other drinks or food for me. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage though and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s unusually warm for October and that’s an understatement. On Tuesday and Wednesday, which I know were technically still September but oh well, the daytime high was 26°C. I don’t think daytime highs under 20°C are in the forecast until later next week.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I did quite a bit of walking over the week. On Tuesday, I even took a walk off institution grounds. The staff who was with me at first wasn’t sure I could walk an uneven path and wanted to stay in the residential area, but I assured her I’d walked the path before. No pictures, unfortunately.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I didn’t engage in any major cooking projects over the week but I did do quite a few small food prep activities. My most elaborate culinary activity was me making a vegan mango and avocado salad with black beans. It was absolutely delish and I regret not having taken a photo.

I also finally think I figured out how to make the perfect smoothie bowl. The key is just about enough liquid to move the blender blades. Another important thing is not to overblend your smoothie. Today, for the first time, I probably had too little liquid at first. I hope this hasn’t caused damage to my blender. This was a quick mid-afternoon snack smoothie bowl, so just banana, pineapple and coconut milk (and a little water once I figured out the blades wouldn’t move otherwise). I didn’t use any toppings this time.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I was also a little crafty yesterday. I made a bracelet. It was slightly too large for me, so I gave it to the staff I made it with.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d moan about the fact that there’s still no news on the moving front. I looked up the institution in the Dutch Bible Belt town. This has caused me some mixed feelings. There’s a documentary series about it on Dutch television right now. It portrays VIC (very intensive care) homes. These are homes similar to my previous home or even more restrictive. Though the staff being filmed aren’t as harsh to the clients as my former staff were, part of the reason is probably the fact that they were being filmed. I didn’t find out that this series was filmed at this specific institution until after I’d shared in an online group that the higher-ups are considering moving me to that one. Now my staff say it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be transferred to a VIC home. They keep telling me the higher-ups truly want a suitable place for me. Then again, that’s what the staff in Raalte back in 2022 said too. I know I’m not so physically aggressive that I need a VIC home, but I also know that it’s not that causing my staff to struggle with me: it’s my way with words. Besides, even at my previous home I was told everybody found me to be challenging Yet at the same time I was being told to my face that I’d always get the least familiar staff and they’d always leave me alone first because I wasn’t physically aggressive. In other words, I was the least physically violent yet almost by extension the hardest to restrain into submission. It’s this power dynamic that’s basically the story of my life and it sucks.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 19, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a post yesterday. In fact, I had several ideas in mind. However, by the time I’d sorted through my ideas, it was already past 11PM. One of those ideas was, of course, a contribution to #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m doing that now. I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will soon get my evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, as usual I’d start out by talking about the weather. On Tuesday, we had a gorgeous late summer day with temperatures rising to 26°C. For the rest of the week, temps have been less extreme. In fact, I’m already occasionally wearing a sweater.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’m still meeting my Apple Watch’s movement goal each day. Today, I got my September challenge badge too. I am still mostly exercising by walking, but did ride the side-by-side bike to the next town again on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve finally been claying again. On Monday, I tried to make a unicorn for the intellectual disability physician, who’s retiring in a few weeks. I’d already made her a card, but wanted to make something out of polymer clay too. Unfortunately, we were in a bit of a hurry and it showed in the result. I’m still not entirely sure what the exact problem was, but parts of the thing broke off way too easily.

Thankfully, on Thursday, I was able to give it another try and this time, my unicorn was a success. I used seed beads for the eyes. The green blob on the side that my camera doesn’t properly capture is once again a four-leaf clover.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve been quite active in the kitchen too. On Wednesday, I cooked a zucchini and pumpkin pasta bake for my side of the home. The staff tried to show me how he cuts zucchini, but despite it not working for me,I tried one too many times. This caused me to cut into my thumb. The cut isn’t bad, thankfully. In fact, the most distressing aspect was my fearing the staff would not allow me to cut up my own food anymore. Thankfully, this isn’t the case.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I did some reading again over the past few days. I may’ve shared that my Braille display is perpetually acting up, so I don’t use it by default anymore. Yesterday, I finally figured out how to use Voice Dream Reader, the iPhone’s main accessible book app, without my Braille display. Sort of, that is. I still prefer my Braille display, but until I can get it fixed, I don’t want to use it too often in case I cause further damage.

I also did read a book in the native iOS Books app. I used both my Braille display and VoiceOver’s speech synthesizer for this. The book is called These Bodies Ain’t Broken and it’s an anthology of YA horror stories featuring disabled protagonists. So far, the stories are very good, though I’m beginning to believe being a little hard to understand is a feature of the genre.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d say that there’s still no news on the moving front. I lived in my current care home exactly three years yesterday. It’s making me sad, honestly, realizing that even in supposed long-term living places, I can never seem to make it last. I mean, the longest I’ve ever been in one place during my adult life was just over four years and that was at the psych hospital’s resocialization unit that had been clear from the get-go that my stay there would be temporary. I’m thinking I shouldn’t be commemorating big days like these anymore. I didn’t yesterday, but it’s still hard to completely let go of the grief.

Crafty In the Kitchen

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Esther’s writing prompt for this week is “crafty”. I could of course moan about the fact that I haven’t been crafting anything with polymer clay in at least a month. However, the reason that polymer clay is taking a back seat, is the fact that I’ve been crafty in many other ways. I mean, is cooking a craft? And if so, am I good enough at it to consider myself crafty in this respect? This is a question of skill and of self-esteem that I won’t go into right now. The main thing is that I’ve truly been enjoying being crafty in the kitchen.

Yesterday, a staff who’s almost as easily stressed as I am, was assigned to me for my two-hour activity time slot and I’d planned to cook. What’s more, I’d planned to create a crispy rice salad with tofu, lots of vegetables, a homemade dressing and of course fried rice. Oh my, was I scared! Thankfully, the staff admitted that so was she and this opened the door for both of us to remain calmer than we’d be if we hadn’t been open about our vulnerabilities. And guess what? The process went well and the salad was absolutely delish! The original recipe was for four servings and I didn’t have the guts to change anything, so I had quite a bit left when I’d consumed my meal. Thankfully, I knew this in advance so had asked a fellow resident who loves the cooking experience whether he’d like a serving too. He did and he liked it too. So did the staff I’d cooked it with. So now the three of us all had some extra, but that’s totally okay. By the way, MyFitnessPal was finally content with my protein intake and like I said I hadn’t even eaten meat.

I also love whipping up random food from things I still have left over from previous culinary endeavors. For example, on Tuesday, I made an avocado-chocolate mousse. I looked for coconut milk and cacao powder to go into it when at the supermarket with my best friend on Sunday. We didn’t find the cacao powder, but thankfully I still had enough in my cupboard. However, the recipe only called for 125ml of coconut milk for six servings and the smallest container was 200ml.

Until recently, I’d have thrown away the leftover coconut milk. I’m not saying I won’t do this anymore, as sometimes I totally forget that I have something left in the fridge. However, today I did remember and I whipped up what I’d planned to be a smoothie. I couldn’t find any recipe that I had all the ingredients for, but I experimented by adding frozen mango and the leftover coconut milk to my kitchen machine’s blender. What do you English-speaking people even call a multipurpose food processor/stand mixer/whatever? That’s the thing I have. Anyway, the mixture was way too thick to be a smoothie, but it was delicious as a mousse.

Experimenting does sometimes lead to less desirable results. This evening, for example, I tried to make a homemade chai latte, but my homemade chai mix probably has way too much black pepper in it. I still hope that’s not the problem, as I also added it to my overnight oats for tomorrow. However, I must say culinary craftiness does help me develop my sense of what I like and dislike and why. There I’m talking self-image after all.

Gratitude List (July 28, 2026) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I used to participate in the Ten Things of Thankful blog hop regularly, but since the original blog on which it was hosted was abandoned in favor of a number of individual hosts’ blogs, I struggled to find it and, when I did, was often too late to join in. Now I’m still on time (though barely) and would like to share my gratefuls. It feels odd doing this on a Tuesday, but oh well. I’m doing this post in the classic editor because I struggle with lists in the block editor.

1. I’m grateful for my best friend. As regular readers of this blog know, the past year or two has seen a lot of change in our relationship, in that we used to be married. The divorce isn’t completely final yet, but that should happen this week or the next. I’m grateful though that, despite no longer being a couple, we still call each other almost daily and see each other several times a month.

2. I’m grateful for banana bread. I baked a vegan version last Saturday and my best friend and I got a small slice of banana bread (also vegan I believe) with our coffees at a coffee shop in Deventer last Sunday. I think the coffee shop one was better, though my own banana bread was also much better than all the other versions I’d baked before.

3. I’m grateful I was able to use up the leftover almond milk from the banana bread before it expired. I needed only 75ml for the banana bread and had a 1l container. I used the rest for smoothies today.

4. I’m grateful both of my smoothies turned out good. One was an espresso-based smoothie and the other, I just made using whatever I thought of: frozen mangoes, almond milk of course, chia seeds and a bit of honey.

5. I’m grateful for a tiny bit of crafty inspiration again. I started on some polymer clay earrings again yesterday.

6. I’m grateful all ingredients for the pasta I’m going to make for myself and my fellow residents tomorrow did arrive. The institution’s grocery service can be hit or miss, but this time, everything came in.

7. I’m grateful for good weather. Tomorrow’s supposed to be hot and it’s still horribly dry, but oh well.

8. I’m grateful for a new denim skirt. I’d never worn denim skirts before, but it’s nice. Also grateful for my size. As regular readers might know, I used to be obese. Since I’m also short, it’s hard enough finding fitting clothes in my size now that I’m at a (nearly) healthy weight, but it used to be near impossible unless I wanted horribly baggy sweaters and pants.

9. I’m grateful a staff braided my hair yesterday. Too bad I didn’t take a selfie.

10. I’m grateful for sleep. It’s been a struggle lately, but I do appreciate all the rest I can get.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 17, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s now 7:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day. I need to take a shower in about half an hour, so will let my post sit for a bit then and return after I’ve had my medication and evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We were supposed to get another heatwave here this week. Thankfully, it wasn’t that bad, but only barely so. It’s incredibly dry though. Here’s hoping for rainy weather soon.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I won’t be having a perfect month with respect to my movement goal on my Apple Watch. It’s not necessarily because of the weather. Rather, last week Wednesday, I stubbed my toe and it led to a small fracture. The staff who was here when it happened (in fact, I stubbed my toe on his shoe) initially thought it was just bruised. Unfortunately, I took this to mean I shouldn’t be nagging even though the next day and the next and over the weekend, my toe hurt like crazy. I ignored the pain and kept walking. Then on Sunday, the pain was so bad that I could barely walk outside at all, so the staff who was with me at the time, said we should ring the GP on Monday. The GP’s nurse practitioner came by on Tuesday and said I probably suffered a small fracture indeed. Since it’s my little toe, nothing can be done, but she did give me naproxen for pain relief. It’ll likely take several weeks for my toe to fully heal, but next week, hopefully I’ll be able to get by with just paracetamol.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I had a meeting with the behavior specialist, team leader, my assigned staff and support coordinator yesterday about the moving plans. It turns out they have no plans of actually kicking me out against my will. They just believe, like the substitute behavior specialist said about a month ago, that a place for people with brain injury may be more suitable for me. Whether finding me a suitable place is possible given my current care profile and the extra support hours etc., will have to be determined. It’s all quite scary, but I’m not as scared as I was before I had this meeting.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I also had a meeting with the intellectual disability physician on Monday. I went down another 1mg of my antipsychotic. I’m now on 6mg of aripiprazole. I can’t believe I was at one point, for many years in fact, taking 30mg.

We also discussed my getting access to my medical records. Thankfully, she gave me permission. The GP will have to sign me into the system though.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I didn’t cook last Saturday or Wednesday, but I did make another batch of granola on Wednesday. The reason I didn’t cook is the fact that I reasoned it’d be too hard for me given the stress of the two meetings I had. All this being said, I did help with preparing my own lunch by cutting up the vegetables I usually have as a side a few times. This was a good experience.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I did engage in a few creative activities over the past week. One involved making polymer clay earrings. The finished project didn’t satisfy me, but the process was fun.

I also created another unicorn-themed chalk pastel drawing. Can’t remember whether I shared this before, but one of the staff is incredibly creative and she at one point came up with this idea. I used a template for drawing the unicorn and of course I know my six-year-old niece can probably do it better than I can, but who cares? I’m more and more appreciating the fact that I can do something rather than focusing on what I can’t compared to non-disabled people.

This brings me to another creative adventure: photography. I’m hoping to soon take more pictures and to actually share them on the blog. I in fact subscribed to a few blogs that have photo prompts and am liking them a lot. I really would like to expand my creative horizons.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 4, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10PM as I start typing this post and I’ll soon need to brush my teeth, but I’ll finish this post before going off to bed. I just had my cup of green tea. If you’d like something to drink either hot or cold, feel free to and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. The heatwave has thankfully ended and we now usually have daytime highs of about 24°C, sometimes even cooler. It’s been quite windy and occasionally rainy too, so I’ve actually even been wearing my jeans again.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, obviously, I didn’t meet my June monthly challenge goal on my Apple Watch and I didn’t get the perfect month award. So far in July, I’m still meeting my movement goal each day, but I’m not expecting to make it to a perfect month this time either.

I did ride the side-by-side bike to the next town’s market again yesterday. It had been months since I visited the market, but the guy behind the olive stall did recognize me.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you all that I celebrated my birthday at the care home on Wednesday. It was a bit difficult. I’d had big plans for baking two cheesecakes and making a pasta bake for the entire home (20 residents). The cheesecakes were a success, but during the pasta bake preparation process, there were some bumps in the road. However, in the end both were delicious! Yes, even the fellow resident who always complains about food being too spicy, loved my pasta arrabbiata bake. I’d made it once before but had then deseeded the peppers. Not this time.

Caramel cheesecake
Pasta bake

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve also been quite crafty recently, particularly early in the week. I crafted two small butterflies out of polymer clay (using a mold), to be turned into earrings later. When my one-on-one for the moment saw my other molds, she wanted to use a bigger butterfly mold that I hadn’t used in years. She proposed to use multiple colors in a marbling technique and chose eight all very different colors, including both yellow and purple. I know a little about color theory and said yellow mixed with purple becomes a horrible brownish color. My staff said that, if the butterfly turned brownish, she’d take it home and display it on her fridge. I ended up giving it to her regardless, but it didn’t turn ugly! I do take the credit for being careful not to overmix the colors, though in hindsight I might’ve undermixed them for the effect she wanted.

Polymer clay butterfly

If we were having coffee, I’d share that this crafty endeavor made me decide to order several other small earring molds. My sister had gifted me a voucher for one of my favorite clay supplies shops and I spent it on molds, cutters and also two new colors of acrylic paint. One of the paints was named sorbet and I had absolutely no idea what color that’s supposed to be. I now realize I could’ve had AI describe the image on the website, but I ordered the color and only discovered that it’s a kind of pink once it arrived.

If we were having coffee, I’d finally share that specialized client support contacted the behavior specialist and they’re now going to get back to me. When I found out they wanted to talk to the behavior specialist, I feared my care agency was going to hijack the entire process. I’m still not convinced that they aren’t, particularly since finding out yesterday that the team leader had informed the staff that I’m leaving before I’d even gotten a clear idea of the consequences of the meeting with the substitute behavior specialist in which she’d posed the question whether I’m in the right place here. It doesn’t help that staff are making all kinds of assumptions about what kind of place would be better suited to me and what I find most important. The truth is, my main requirement is that a future placement’s team, including higher-ups, truly wants to understand and accommodate my needs. I don’t want to have to move again in two or three years.

June 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly review. June, overall, was quite an eventful month. It had its low lows, but thankfully it also had its ups.

I started the month with a few meetings with the substitute behavior specialist. She had opened quite the can of worms by asking me whether I’m at the right place here. Initially, I didn’t see it as a negative that she was questioning this, as she at the time worded it in such a way as to indicate there might be a better, more suitable place for me. Now, nearly a month on, I’m trying to hold on to this belief but the thought is creeping up onto me that the powers-that-be want me gone as soon as possible.

The reason I believe this, in part, is the fact that, to the staff, it appears the fact that I’m moving is a given. I hadn’t interpreted the substitute behavior specialist’s comments like this, but now that they’re all talking in terms of my “having to” move, the whole thing scares me. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to be shoved around like a parcel, but some staff are already asking me whether I’d be okay with being transferred to a place that would be temporary again. Well, no. If (and I deliberately say “if”) I move again, it’ll be to a place in which I can stay and grow old.

Other happenings this month included the meeting with the client confidante on involuntary care. This meeting was attended by my assigned staff and the regular behavior specialist. I’m rather skeptical about the whole thing, among other things because the behavior specialist is adamant that the door between the two sides of the home needs to be locked “for peace and quiet”. Unfortunately, the staff aren’t able to accept the reality that, if the door is locked for us, it means there’s no way staff can be having their breaks on the other side of the home without the continuity of care being disrupted. It looks like the staff are far from realizing that this is our home first and only their workplace after that. I doubt with my being at least coerced into moving, I’ll have the time to cause an attitude shift here.

I also had my birthday this month, of course. I turned 40. Since I’d cut off contact with my parents earlier in the week, they didn’t visit. My sister and her family did. I got a gift card for one of my favorite online polymer clay supplies shops. Yesterday, I spent it on molds, cutters and paint. I can’t wait for the package to arrive.

I also celebrated my birthday with my best friend. Haven’t opened the package of polymer clay I got from her yet, but probably will soon. Tomorrow, I’ll be celebrating my birthday at the home. It was quite stressful to get all the ingredients for the caramel cheesecake delivered. I also couldn’t fully follow the recipe, as I’d initially wanted to make three cakes, then did two and well let’s just hope it isn’t one major fail. The cakes are now setting in the fridge.

My wife/best friend and I, like I said in my coffee share posts, are almost done with the divorce too. The signing session with the mediator did bring up some emotions for me, as did the video call with the lawyer, even though it in itself was a breeze. I’m still struggling with all the big issues that came up when I decided I certainly don’t want my parents or sister to make medical decisions for me should I become incapacitated, as they’ll automatically be asked to after the divorce if I don’t appoint someone else (like my best friend) myself.

I still haven’t been as involved with meaningful activities as I’d have liked, but I did cook several times and crafted a few things out of polymer clay. I also created bracelets for my nieces, but they were too small. The younger niece got the bracelet originally meant for her sister and I created a new one for the older one. She’ll have to wait until my sister visits again though. So will my sister, as I had bought a book for her but forgot to give it to her when she visited.

Speaking of books, I haven’t been reading much because my Braille display is acting up and I don’t want to damage it further in this heat. However, my best friend suggested I give audiobooks a try and so I did. I just finished a Dutch collection of stories from a medical examiner. This was a challenge I took up that ended up proving to be positive.

I also gave starting an Open University course some more thought. I know I said last year that I wanted to start and never did, but honestly what’s the worst that could happen if I do sign up? I could fail and that’d mean my money would be wasted. Not even entirely, as the difference between a failing grade and a passing grade is a certificate I won’t ever be using anyway. I mean, it’s not like I’ll need to complete a course for a job or anything. It’s currently the end of the academic year, so I’m considering starting in September.

Lastly, I actually wrote this post in the block editor again. Not that I can find any information on the discontinuation of the classic editor, but I’m just challenging myself. I know this post doesn’t contain any images, but I figured out that the images in my last post were indeed fine and I was once again worrying for nothing. I just saw that the error I got when running my images through my screen reader’s image description tool, occurs on many other blogs, even photography blogs. Now I’m relieved!

Crafting Lately: A Unicorn and Another “Cheer Up Frog”

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s nearly 11PM as I type this and I originally didn’t intend on writing a blog post today. Then, however, I learned that WordPress is intending on phasing out the classic editor (thanks Di for the heads-up) I almost exclusively use the classic editor, so I’m, well, quite a bit upset. Now I’m having to learn not only to write blog posts without using my Braille display, but also in the dreaded block editor. I could turn this into a challenge though and see what I can still do. For this reason, I’m writing a post in the block editor. And to make it extra challenging, I’m writing a crafty post, so that I’ll have to include images.

In truth, I haven’t been all that crafty lately. However, last week, a new staff was being oriented to me. The regular staff accompanying her is a great crafter, so I made use of this fact and decided to do polymer clay again. I started out making a unicorn. It’s the same style I usually use, but I did get compliments on the color combination, which I chose. The body is done using Fimo Soft in the color pastel vanilla and the horn, mane and tail are done using Fimo soft in the color pastel peach. The unicorn has a decorative flower on its side in the color pastel light pink, but I don’t think the picture captures it.

This unicorn, I did mostly with help from the regular staff while the new one was watching. Then, I made another little sculpture together with the new staff. I wasn’t too inspired, so chose the “cheer up frog”. For those who don’t know, I make frog figures for people who need a little cheering because they’re on sick leave or for another reason could use a little reminder of the good things in life. The Dutch word for “cheer up” is derived from the Dutch word for “frog”.

I added a decorative clover figure to its belly, but in hindsight could’ve gone with a larger size. My best friend also commented that the standard tropical green gets a little boring. One thing I did to challenge myself is to add seed beads to the eyes rather than my standard black dots.

I thoroughly enjoyed working with polymer clay. However, now that I’m sharing these on the blog, I’m struggling to put the blocks in the right order. Ugh, this is definitely a learning curve! And now it’s past midnight, so I’ll have to figure out whether I want to publish this post on Monday or change the publication date. And by the way, it looks like the images are somehow hidden behind my text. This definitely sucks!

March 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and that means I’m joining Natalie for her monthly wrap-up. March was a tough month. As I say this, I hear a little voice in my head saying I’ll never be happy anyway as I’m so negative. One of my staff on Sunday said I have nothing to complain about because I get regular support workers and my day schedule is followed. I still wonder how much of my dissatisfaction is indeed due to circumstances that can be changed, such as my day schedule, how much is due to the inherent nature of my being multiply-disabled and living in long-term care and how much is my attitude.

In any case, early in the month I heard that my activity-based day schedule would be taking effect on April 1. That’s tomorrow. Unfortunately, on the same day, the staff’s hours are going to change and this, even though the literal hours they are in the home won’t be cut, means my support will be cut a little. We’ll see how that goes.

I tried to adapt to the new support hours already and this was incredibly hard. I also tried to myself follow a schedule with more meaningful activities. This was partly successful, especially with staff who are already able to help me get more meaningful activities done. For example, last week, one of the staff helped me create a unicorn-themed card for a former fellow resident from the intensive support home, who had her birthday that day.

Thankfully, one staff, with whom until then I’d only been doing dice games and going for walks, herself took the initiative to ask a colleague to orient her to the polymer clay activity.

I have been cooking and baking more than I used to. For example, I baked so-called “healthy” brownies that I fully intended on handing out at the monthly local brain injury meet-up. They weren’t all that good though.

Later, I found out I had a Trojan on my computer that came with the recipe manager app I used to download random recipes off Facebook into, including this “healthy” brownie recipe.

Before I found out I had malware on my computer, I had been obsessing over the idea of cooking vegetarian curries. Most of the recipes, I got off English-language food websites like BBC Good Food, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to use them. After all, though my English is quite good, my staff’s might not be.

Last Saturday, I cooked a delicious cauliflower, tomato and chickpea curry. This recipe was in Dutch, by the way.

Now that I look over this post, I wonder what made the month so tough, given that I once again did more meaningful activities than I used to. I do believe part of the problem is the fact that I’m still not adequately supported when I’m struggling. I mean, highs and lows are to be expected even when you’re having the proverbial time of your life. When people expect me to have a positive outlook because “I have nothing to complain about”, that is horribly invalidating. Life in the care system isn’t great and it isn’t meant to be. I don’t expect to ever rate my days higher than a seven out of ten, but when staff do have this expectation of me, it’s incredibly frustrating. I’m hoping something can be done about this.

Of course, this was also the month I finally realized I’ll never have an okay relationship with my parents. It’s tough realizing I never experienced a proper bond with my parents and even tougher to know that no-one can replace it. However, I do think I’m more capable than I used to believe. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Meaningful Activities #WotW

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! No Weekend Coffee Share (at least, Natalie isn’t hosting) this week again. I love Anne’s Word of the Week linky for summarizing my week too. Maybe when Natalie hosts her coffee share again, I’ll do a combination of the two. That is, if I can figure out a word or phrase to sum up my week. This week’s phrase is “meaningful activities”.

This week was truly a good one overall. I’ll start with my spontaneous baking activity on Saturday. My staff and I had gone on a walk, but we didn’t want to stare at the wall for the rest of my long activity time slot, so she proposed we do a baking activity. I proposed to make caramel blondies, for which I’d bought the ingredients a few weeks ago already to use with another staff, who however wouldn’t say when we could make them. The blondies were extremely filling but good. Next time, I’m going to cut down on sugar a bit and add some white chocolate on top. I served the blondies to my fellow residents in the evening. One of them asked for days after that, when she learned that I had some left over, for more “Astrid cookies”.


On Monday, my staff and I went to the institution townhouse for coffee. We didn’t have our wallets with us, so we couldn’t buy any of the treats they offered (the coffee is free). However, one of the people behind the counter offered us a brownie that wasn’t good enough to be sold to share. My staff had only a small piece and I had most of it. It was delicious! I had planned to eat the last of the blondies that day, but had two and besides, I was completely stuffed already. I decided to offer them to the two fellow residents who aren’t at the day center during the day either.

On Tuesday, the same staff was supporting me in the afternoon again and, of course, we reasoned we had to go back to the townhouse with our wallets to buy something this time. We didn’t fancy another brownie, but we did have a look at some of the handmade items on sale. My staff bought some tea and I bought a bag of rocky road chocolates. No photo in the townhouse, but I did take an interesting photo of the bag on my nightstand.

Then on Wednesday, like I shared that day already, I crafted a polymer clay dice for a staff who was leaving. Today, I also have been claying, because one of the staff who’s been here forever but with whom I’ve never done a clay project, wanted to learn. It felt good being able to do this activity even though it was in the morning and I was a little cranky.

On Thursday, the staff and I rode the side-by-side bike to Twello to buy some things. I bought raisins, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and corn waffles. We also needed a new mixing bowl, since I’d found out earlier that the one we used to have had a large tear in it. The staff offered to pay for it with the home’s debit card, which sounded reasonable, since it was the home’s bowl that tore. Not that I have a mixing bowl, but well.

Yesterday saw another trip to Twello to go to the market. When we were at the townhouse on Tuesday, one of the institution managers was telling us that he’s going to campaign for the upcoming local election at the market on Friday. I didn’t see him at the market, but I did get to talk to two other parties’ campaigners, both of who gave me some seeds to plant. I’m having to think on where to plant them, as my little yard has no flowerbeds.

Overall, this week was truly filled with meaningful activities. Since my new day schedule will (hopefully) take effect on April 1 and I’ll then be having two weekly cooking or baking activities, I’ve been looking at things to make then too. My wife inspired me to look into vegetarian dinners. Not that I’m a vegetarian or ever plan to be, given that meal delivery service meals suck even more without the meat than they do when it’s included. However, when I prepare the meals myself, I’d love to look at ways of adding flavor without meat or poultry. The idea is that usually I won’t have to cook for the entire home, so I can experiment without considering my fellow residents’ preferences.