June 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly review. June, overall, was quite an eventful month. It had its low lows, but thankfully it also had its ups.

I started the month with a few meetings with the substitute behavior specialist. She had opened quite the can of worms by asking me whether I’m at the right place here. Initially, I didn’t see it as a negative that she was questioning this, as she at the time worded it in such a way as to indicate there might be a better, more suitable place for me. Now, nearly a month on, I’m trying to hold on to this belief but the thought is creeping up onto me that the powers-that-be want me gone as soon as possible.

The reason I believe this, in part, is the fact that, to the staff, it appears the fact that I’m moving is a given. I hadn’t interpreted the substitute behavior specialist’s comments like this, but now that they’re all talking in terms of my “having to” move, the whole thing scares me. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to be shoved around like a parcel, but some staff are already asking me whether I’d be okay with being transferred to a place that would be temporary again. Well, no. If (and I deliberately say “if”) I move again, it’ll be to a place in which I can stay and grow old.

Other happenings this month included the meeting with the client confidante on involuntary care. This meeting was attended by my assigned staff and the regular behavior specialist. I’m rather skeptical about the whole thing, among other things because the behavior specialist is adamant that the door between the two sides of the home needs to be locked “for peace and quiet”. Unfortunately, the staff aren’t able to accept the reality that, if the door is locked for us, it means there’s no way staff can be having their breaks on the other side of the home without the continuity of care being disrupted. It looks like the staff are far from realizing that this is our home first and only their workplace after that. I doubt with my being at least coerced into moving, I’ll have the time to cause an attitude shift here.

I also had my birthday this month, of course. I turned 40. Since I’d cut off contact with my parents earlier in the week, they didn’t visit. My sister and her family did. I got a gift card for one of my favorite online polymer clay supplies shops. Yesterday, I spent it on molds, cutters and paint. I can’t wait for the package to arrive.

I also celebrated my birthday with my best friend. Haven’t opened the package of polymer clay I got from her yet, but probably will soon. Tomorrow, I’ll be celebrating my birthday at the home. It was quite stressful to get all the ingredients for the caramel cheesecake delivered. I also couldn’t fully follow the recipe, as I’d initially wanted to make three cakes, then did two and well let’s just hope it isn’t one major fail. The cakes are now setting in the fridge.

My wife/best friend and I, like I said in my coffee share posts, are almost done with the divorce too. The signing session with the mediator did bring up some emotions for me, as did the video call with the lawyer, even though it in itself was a breeze. I’m still struggling with all the big issues that came up when I decided I certainly don’t want my parents or sister to make medical decisions for me should I become incapacitated, as they’ll automatically be asked to after the divorce if I don’t appoint someone else (like my best friend) myself.

I still haven’t been as involved with meaningful activities as I’d have liked, but I did cook several times and crafted a few things out of polymer clay. I also created bracelets for my nieces, but they were too small. The younger niece got the bracelet originally meant for her sister and I created a new one for the older one. She’ll have to wait until my sister visits again though. So will my sister, as I had bought a book for her but forgot to give it to her when she visited.

Speaking of books, I haven’t been reading much because my Braille display is acting up and I don’t want to damage it further in this heat. However, my best friend suggested I give audiobooks a try and so I did. I just finished a Dutch collection of stories from a medical examiner. This was a challenge I took up that ended up proving to be positive.

I also gave starting an Open University course some more thought. I know I said last year that I wanted to start and never did, but honestly what’s the worst that could happen if I do sign up? I could fail and that’d mean my money would be wasted. Not even entirely, as the difference between a failing grade and a passing grade is a certificate I won’t ever be using anyway. I mean, it’s not like I’ll need to complete a course for a job or anything. It’s currently the end of the academic year, so I’m considering starting in September.

Lastly, I actually wrote this post in the block editor again. Not that I can find any information on the discontinuation of the classic editor, but I’m just challenging myself. I know this post doesn’t contain any images, but I figured out that the images in my last post were indeed fine and I was once again worrying for nothing. I just saw that the error I got when running my images through my screen reader’s image description tool, occurs on many other blogs, even photography blogs. Now I’m relieved!

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 27, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10PM, so no more coffee for me. I will probably take a break from writing this post (or maybe two) to have a drink of water though. It’s my birthday, but I’m not celebrating it at the care home until Wednesday. My best friend did bake me a nice vegan cheesecake though. No pictures, unfortunately, but it was good even though she said she’d forgotten the added sugar. Grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We’re in an extreme heatwave right now. I have hardly been outside since Tuesday because daytime temperatures literally reached over 35°C. The nighttime temp didn’t get below 22°C last night either. The humidity makes it even worse. We’ve had a heat index of 10 out of 10 for the past few days. It’s June, for goodness’ sake!

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I obviously didn’t meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch most days this week. I haven’t been for walks since Tuesday and, since the heat indoors is unbearable too, I can’t dance either.

If we were having coffee, then I’d moan about my Braille display. It’s got lagging dots again. That’s not the worst, honestly. The worst is the fact that, due to the fact that I’m quite sweaty from the heat, I can’t use my Braille display at all or it’ll for sure get moist damage. I’m trying to type this post using JAWS (my screen reader) with just speech now. Being that I was a Braille-only user for the first 20 years that I had access to a computer with a screen reader, this is quite a challenge.

If we were having coffee, next I’d update you all on the divorce. As it turned out, the two of us signing the paperwork wasn’t the last step in the process. Sure we’d been told, but both of us had forgotten. We each still had to have a video call with the lawyer who’d write the request toe the judge. This was last Thursday and it was easy-peasy. I’d expected to be challenged on some of the details in the agreement that are formally to my disadvantage, but he just asked me to confirm that I agreed to them. The divorce has now been submitted to the judge for approval. This will likely be a piece of cake too, so with all going as planned, we should officially be divorced by early August at the latest.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my parents, particularly my mother, didn’t take it well. This among other things has caused me to cut off contact with my parents earlier this week. My sister probably knows even though I didn’t tell her, but she’s so far treating me respectfully.

If we were having coffee, I’d then share about my birthday. It’s my 40th and I’d been looking forward to it for a while, but the situation with my parents causes me to feel a bit bummed about it. I spent the day with my best friend. She gave me some lovely gifts. First was a package of polymer clay in colors none of which I had so far. Half are from the Botanical range and I’d been aahing over those for months. The other gift was a mug. I’d already gotten a 40th birthday mug from my home (well, I’ll ultimately pay for it myself, but the others don’t know that). The one I got from my best friend is much better though.

I’ll celebrate my birthday at the home on Wednesday. I will then get the rest of my gifts, but wanted the birthday-theemd ones in advance because my sister and her family were here last week. They gave me a squishy ball and a doll that my nieces probably selected. Today, my sister also sent me a gift card for one of my favorite clay supplies shops.

When I celebrate my birthday here at the care home, I’m going to bake a caramel cheesecake or probably two. I’ll also cook a pasta bake for everyone (both sides of the home). Hopefully it’ll be less hot by then.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 28, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. No more coffee for me, as it’s nearly 9PM. I however do still have some slices of cake with nuts and caramel left over from when my sister and her family came over this afternoon. I also have a bag of mini brownies in my cupboard. I didn’t even know I liked brownies, but yesterday we got one with our coffee when my best friend, my parents and I were eating out. They were great! When my father told the waiter that it was my birthday, he offered me a bag of brownies as a treat. So let’s munch on some sweetness while we have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. No complaining from my sister or my nieces about the heat today, yay! It was 26°C this afternoon, but apparently that’s doable for them. The rest of the week was a mixed bag. Early in the week, we had quite windy weather that made it feel chillier than it was. I even wore a jacket on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that, thank goodness, I survived my birthday! I’m now 39. That’s not what I mean though: I made it through both meeting my parents and the visit from my sister and her family.

Yesterday, my best friend and I drove to Groningen to meet my parents. We walked some time around a library / study hall thingy which had as its only positive for us that you could oversee the city from the roof. Most of the way up, we were able to use escalators, but we had to walk up a flight of stairs to get to the roof. This was a bit scary for me.

After a few hours, we went to a restaurant, the one with the brownies. I was dead set on ordering something I wouldn’t normally eat, so chose the rib eye. When I ordered, the waiter told me it was served with mashed potatoes and, by this time, I was a bit overloaded so didn’t ask for an alternative. Thankfully, my best friend did and I got fries.

The food was good, but seeing my parents was, well, awkward. Thankfully, no arguments and my parents engaged more with me and my best friend than last year. I, however, didn’t want to give them a reason to start making triggering comments so I only replied “Fine” when my mother asked how I was during dinner.

My sister and her family visited me at the institution today. This was actually quite a positive experience. My nieces, who are five and three, were also a lot more engaging with me than last year and a lot less cranky. I allowed both of them to create something with my Fimo Kids clay. I told them I’m going to cure their creations in the oven and could be mailing them their way. Then, my brother-in-law said they’d be in Apeldoorn in a few weeks and could pop over here to pick up their creations then. I actually think I like that.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I got a fitness mat for my birthday from my sister and her family. I really want to work on my strength, but boy is this hard. I tried planking and couldn’t even hold it for ten seconds. When I did a few squats too then checked my heart rate on my Apple Watch, it was 179. It quickly dropped when I was just standing, but this is a good reminder I will want the physical therapist’s advice on starting a strength training routine.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that we had the institution summer festival on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn’t participate much, but I did take part in a climbing activity. This was so scary!

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you my assigned staff, behavior specialist, physician and some others had their meeting with the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) on Wednesday. The CCE are going to ask for a consultant to come to my care home and observe me and the staff and on that basis they’re hoping to provide suggestions for better support. I was initially quite pessimistic, but am now cautiously optimistic that things might improve.

Share Our Lives (May 2025): How I Celebrate My Birthday

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! It’s the second Monday of the month and this means the Share Our Lives linky goes live. This month, the theme is how we usually spend or celebrate our birthdays.

My birthday is at the end of June, so the weather’s usually pretty good. That is, my parents used to joke that my sister, whose birthday is tomorrow, always got better weather on her birthday than I got. It isn’t true and, quite frankly, now that I have more insight into our family dynamics, it feels like one of their endless comparison games rather than a joke. But I digress.

My birthday and the time around it usually are quite stressful, since it’s the only time a year I ever see my parents and that’s with good reason. Over the past few years, my parents, my best friend and I have often been going out for dinner. It’s always awkward but was more so last year. I haven’t made plans with my parents this year yet.

My sister and her family will also visit me. Last year, this was a bit hard, as my oldest niece was tired and, being four at the time, easily bored. This led to her being cranky and me being cranky from being overloaded as a result. For my birthday this year, we’ve planned a relatively short visit.

All this being said, I do like to have somewhat of a birthday party at the care home. Even at the intensive support home, I treated the entire group to fries and a snack. Last year, I made a cheesecake and also treated the home to home-cooked burgers and salad.

I think gift-receiving is also a fun part of my birthday. The best gift I ever received was my music pillow, which my best friend gave me last year. My parents usually buy me a small gift plus some thrift store items. It may seem stupid, but I do like not knowing what I’ll get even though chances are I won’t be using it much. Besides, I haven’t bought my parents gifts in years.

Now that I look over this post, I realize I honestly don’t know why I usually say I like my birthday, as now that I’m an adult I could easily be buying my own gifts and I don’t like most of the company I get. I think part of it is childlike excitement.

A Birthday Visit From My Sister and Her Family

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s really been forever since I last touched the blog. I won’t even promise I’ll try to make a habit out of posting more regularly, as I just don’t know when the motivation and inspiration strike again.

I originally wanted to link this post up to Leigha’s Sunny Sunday, then realized my post, though not overtly negative, wasn’t specifically positive either. I could say that yesterday was a literal sunny Sunday though, with lots of sunshine and daytime temps of 25°C. We’re supposed to get sunny weather at least up till this Thursday. I actually like it, but some people are already complaining that it’s too hot. Then last week they were complaining that we didn’t get a proper summer, as it was raining and the temperature usually didn’t get above 18°C.

Yesterday, my sister and her family (my brother-in-law and two nieces) came by for an early visit for my birthday. They arrived here shortly after 9AM, because they had wanted to visit the petting farm here on institution grounds and, according to the website, its opening hours were 9AM-10AM. When we arrived, we saw that it wouldn’t close till 11AM. Its size was a little disappointing to my sister and my nieces (particularly the older one) were tired so it was hard to keep their attention.

We also took a walk on grounds, during which my older niece went on the swings. I tried to push her, but just as my sister was about to take a picture, she jumped off. Both of my nieces also had a turn playing the outdoors xylophone. At one point, my youngest niece, who is two, played “Jingle Bells”. Couldn’t have been farther away from Christmas, but who cares?

The family gave me two unicorn-themed presents: a unicorn bag filled with shower products and a My Little Pony Unicorn which supposedly has candy-scented hair. I probably looked a bit disappointed when I opened the gifts and to be honest I was, but when I talked to my spouse later on I realized from my nieces’ perspectives these are really well thought out gifts. My sister also promised me a gift card for one of my favorite claying supplies stores, which will be really very much appreciated.

We had lunch in my room and backyard. I had ordered poppy seed and sesame seed buns, as well as muesli rolls, from the local bakery. These were delicious!

The family left at around 1PM. It was a good visit overall, although looking back I’m glad I didn’t have my spouse over as well, as that would’ve been too tiring.