September 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the end of the month already, so I’m writing a monthly recap. September, overall, was a pretty good month. Weather-wise, it was and honestly still is summerlike. This probably contributes to my better than usual mood.

Not much happened in the way of actual progress on the moving and other care-related fronts. This is frustrating, particularly because it means I have little to fall back on should my mood and behavior deteriorate again. I mean, my support coordinator said last week that they’re doing away with my Care and Force Act agreements on restraint and locking the doors. In theory, this could be positive, in that it isn’t written in my plan anymore that I can be restrained or locked up. However, the reason I wanted an agreement was the fact that staff were just doing whatever the heck they wanted to for years. I no longer have a crisis plan, or not yet, depending on your perspective. I had a horribly long and troublesome plan for years, until a few weeks ago my support coordinator and assigned staff just decided to throw it away and rewrite it from scratch. Again, this could be positive, but it could also be an excuse for staff to do as they please. Since things are going okay here now, I’m not kicking up a fuss, but I do want to make sure things don’t go downhill again. Or rather, that when they do, this doesn’t become the new normal yet again and it doesn’t get taken over to my next place.

Like I said, the month was pretty good overall. I enjoyed a few crafty activities and quite a bit of cooking and baking. I also did a lot of walking and biking.

Health-wise, the month was okay. I remember last year in September, I was quite sick with probable COVID. This year, no cold, flu or COVID symptoms yet. I do have chronic abdominal pain. I’ve had it for years and it was always chalked up to irritable bowel syndrome or constipation, but it’s getting worse despite the fact that I eat a pretty balanced diet. I had bloodwork done to rule out celiac disease, had inflammation indicators checked, calprotectin levels in stool, urine tests and yesterday I had a bladder scan. All are normal so far. I don’t mind just dealing with it if it’s clear that it’s IBS, but I’ve always felt that it’s too easily chalked up to that. Just now, I heard that’s what my GP thinks it is after all. She claims the symptoms could’ve gotten worse because of stress. I call bullshit to that, but whatever.

Lastly, I learned in August that now that my ex-wife and I are divorced, I qualify for compensation of my health insurance payments. I however also have a higher long-term care copay. All in all, I get about €30 less than I got before we divorced. I don’t care, as I can still quite easily make ends meet. Besides, I’ll most likely get some money once the house gets sold. No news on that front yet.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 26, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again today. It’s just past 7:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will probably have my evening soft drink before finishing this post. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage too and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been quite warm for September and we’ve hardly had any rain. On Tuesday and Wednesday next week, daytime highs over 25°C are in the forecast again. It’s a blessing and a curse that I alone can’t do much about this climate change thing.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. I did a fair amount of walking this past week but also rode the side-by-side bike several times. On Tuesday, I had a meltdown on the bike and probably damaged it, but it still works.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I didn’t do any cooking this past week except for making some smoothie bowls. On Thursday, I made a vegan carrot cake smoothie bowl topped with pumpkin and sunflower seeds. I’m still trying to figure out the right thickness.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I got an E-mail from the person in charge of applying to potential new care providers at last. The person E-mailing me is responsible for the intellectual disability population here and is still waiting on the one for the brain injury branch of my current care agency. This person will be back at work next week. The one E-mailing me did ssay that they were indeed considering the institution on the Bible Belt I mentioned a few weeks ago.

Because of this, I decided to text my best friend with my concerns. I’d mentioned the town before, but only in passing and I don’t want the powers-that-be to find a place for me there only for me to find out that my best friend can’t or won’t visit me there. As it turns out, though obviously she cannot see herself living there, she pointed out that a lot of my feelings about the place might in fact be prejudice. It’s a long drive from her current house and an even longer drive from where she’s considering moving when the house gets sold, but we’re both okay with that, as both of us (me first, in fact) realize our lives don’t revolve around being together. At least, not anymore, sad as it is.

I had some concerns about the institution itself too. It’s a major intellectual disability institution like the one I’m in now, but it looks like most of the homes cater to people with challenging behavior. That can be interpreted as a good sign or a bad sign. I mean, I definitely have some level of challenging behavior and, if the staff at a prospective home are truly equipped to deal with it, it should be better than my current home. However, just because a home caters to people with challenging behavior doesn’t mean the staff truly know how to deal with it, as my experience at the intensive support home shows. One positive in this respect is the fact that the institution actually follows a particular support approach (and one that I can see working for me if done right). In theory at least, it isn’t just a prison in disguise.

One other positive is the fact that the institution includes several homes specifically for people with brain injury, including those with complex needs. This is the kind of home I’m hoping to move into. I’ve also heard they accept my care profile (funding). Let’s see where this leads.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (September 23, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge once again. Here goes.

1. Fall arrives this week in the northern hemisphere. Does it look/feel like fall where you live?What’s something you love to do this time of year that makes you feel its officially fall?
It doesn’t look or feel like fall here yet. The temps are still in the lower 20s Celsius and a temperature of 25°C (which is called summerlike here) is in the forecast for next week. I do think I heard some staff say that some leaves are starting to color, but not much.

I don’t really have any fall traditions, honestly. To me, it doesn’t officially feel like fall/winter until the clock falls back at the end of October.

2. What’s a small daily task or chore that always seems to fall through the cracks when your schedule gets busy?
Truthfully? Showering. I don’t like the feel of it one bit and it costs me a lot of energy. It’s the first thing that I avoid when I’m too overloaded. I must of course explain here that I don’t do any daily household chores myself, so that leaves only the bare necessities. As such, maybe I should’ve said every daily chore falls through the cracks.

3. What’s something you’re falling for lately?
Cooking supplies and unnecessary food items. I am almost proud of myself for not immediately having ordered the food processor add-on I’ve been wanting ever since I found out it doesn’t come with the main package right when my benefits came in today.

4.  Pumpkin is a popular flavor this time of year.  Are you a fan?
Not a fan per se, but I don’t hate it either. I actually did love the pasta bake I made last week. Since there’s no actual pumpkin in pumpkin spice, I’m not sure whether that’s included in this question but I do think I’d love that. Still wanting to try a pumpkin spice latte.

5. What’s something you wish would never change? Explain.
My friendship with my best friend. We celebrated nineteen years since first meeting last Saturday. I’m scared it will change though. That is, I know it will with both of us moving and expanding our circles etc. as well as both of us learning to be more authentic, but at least I hope it’ll never fully end.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Today, I was talking culinary activities with my support coordinator and mentioned wanting to bake my own bread at least once. She saw how excited talking about it made me! I’m for sure hoping I can give it a try sometime soon. At least she agreed to order flour and yeast.

Food Prep Gives Me Joy #WeeklyWonders

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today in Day One, Automattic’s personal diary app, the daily prompt was to talk about the simple pleasures you’ve enjoyed lately. I’ve always wondered why Day One’s prompts don’t align with the ones on WordPress, but oh well. I don’t like WP’s daily prompt today anyway, as it brings too many sad thoughts. As such, I’m going to share some things that brought me joy lately. And many of those things involve food, of course.

First up are vegan pancakes. I sort of impulsively decided to make those yesterday and they were absolutely delish!

Granted, I did add caramel sauce as a topping, which isn’t vegan, but I don’t care.

Then, in the evening, I decided to try to make a smoothie bowl. I may’ve shared a few weeks ago that I accidentally made one when I had too little coconut milk left to make a drinkable smoothie. This smoothie bowl had the opposite problem, in my opinion, but it was a fun experiment.

I decided to randomly add flaxseed and pecans to the topping. My staff said it didn’t appeal to her, but then again she doesn’t like blueberries anyway. I know this isn’t the most visually appealing smoothie bowl, but it was my first attempt. That is, except for the time many years ago when I thought a smoothie bowl was just a smoothie poured into a bowl.

I’m joining in with #WeeklyWonders today.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 19, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a post yesterday. In fact, I had several ideas in mind. However, by the time I’d sorted through my ideas, it was already past 11PM. One of those ideas was, of course, a contribution to #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m doing that now. I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will soon get my evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, as usual I’d start out by talking about the weather. On Tuesday, we had a gorgeous late summer day with temperatures rising to 26°C. For the rest of the week, temps have been less extreme. In fact, I’m already occasionally wearing a sweater.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’m still meeting my Apple Watch’s movement goal each day. Today, I got my September challenge badge too. I am still mostly exercising by walking, but did ride the side-by-side bike to the next town again on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve finally been claying again. On Monday, I tried to make a unicorn for the intellectual disability physician, who’s retiring in a few weeks. I’d already made her a card, but wanted to make something out of polymer clay too. Unfortunately, we were in a bit of a hurry and it showed in the result. I’m still not entirely sure what the exact problem was, but parts of the thing broke off way too easily.

Thankfully, on Thursday, I was able to give it another try and this time, my unicorn was a success. I used seed beads for the eyes. The green blob on the side that my camera doesn’t properly capture is once again a four-leaf clover.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve been quite active in the kitchen too. On Wednesday, I cooked a zucchini and pumpkin pasta bake for my side of the home. The staff tried to show me how he cuts zucchini, but despite it not working for me,I tried one too many times. This caused me to cut into my thumb. The cut isn’t bad, thankfully. In fact, the most distressing aspect was my fearing the staff would not allow me to cut up my own food anymore. Thankfully, this isn’t the case.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I did some reading again over the past few days. I may’ve shared that my Braille display is perpetually acting up, so I don’t use it by default anymore. Yesterday, I finally figured out how to use Voice Dream Reader, the iPhone’s main accessible book app, without my Braille display. Sort of, that is. I still prefer my Braille display, but until I can get it fixed, I don’t want to use it too often in case I cause further damage.

I also did read a book in the native iOS Books app. I used both my Braille display and VoiceOver’s speech synthesizer for this. The book is called These Bodies Ain’t Broken and it’s an anthology of YA horror stories featuring disabled protagonists. So far, the stories are very good, though I’m beginning to believe being a little hard to understand is a feature of the genre.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d say that there’s still no news on the moving front. I lived in my current care home exactly three years yesterday. It’s making me sad, honestly, realizing that even in supposed long-term living places, I can never seem to make it last. I mean, the longest I’ve ever been in one place during my adult life was just over four years and that was at the psych hospital’s resocialization unit that had been clear from the get-go that my stay there would be temporary. I’m thinking I shouldn’t be commemorating big days like these anymore. I didn’t yesterday, but it’s still hard to completely let go of the grief.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (September 16, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been forever since I last participated in the Wednesday Hodgepodge. This is my third attempt at writing this post. If I believed in fate, it should’ve been a sign that I shouldn’t be taking part anymore, I guess. Either that or WordPress just doesn’t like me, since neither the block editor nor the classic editor work nicely right now. Anyway, here are Joyce’s questions.

1. How do you define beauty?
Like Joyce, I think beauty comes mostly from within. I’m going to tease her a little by giving an example tied in with the reason I originally left the Hodgepodge: back in I believe 2023, a trans woman won the Miss Netehrlands contest. She wasn’t the most physically attractive contestant. However, even a Miss contest isn’t about physical looks alone and her confidence for sure shone through. I won’t go into a rant on the entire Miss thing as inherently wrong and, as regular readers of this blog know, I feel strongly about the fact that trans women are women. If you disagree, please don’t start an argument here unless you’re genuinely willing to be educated. My point by choosing this example is, showing up in the world as you are, especially in spite of persecution, is, in my opinion, a surefire sign of beauty.

2. Have you ever taken a trip by train? If so where did you go and what did you think of the experience? If not do you have any desire to do so? Where would you like to go?
I have traveled by train many times. I don’t know what defines a “train trip” vs. just traveling on a train, but the most adventurous train ride I took was a day-long trip from a town near the Germany/Netherlands border to Berlin, just using regional railroads. I used to love train travel back when I still (thought I) was more independent than I am now, but haven’t been on a train in many years.

3. Shell shocked, bombshell, bandshell, shellacking, in a nutshell, walking on eggshells…choose one and tell us why you chose it, or how it relates to your life in some way currently.
I’m choosing “walking on eggshells”, although I could also choose “bombshell”. Both relate to the fact that I’m going to move to another care facility at some point. I didn’t share this with the Hodgepodge community, although some of the participants follow my blog outside of it too so may know. Being told I’ll be moving again was quite the bombshell. I’m walking on eggshells sometimes now fearing I’ll be transferred to a crisis unit if the home-finding process doesn’t go quickly enough.

4. Tacos, pistachios, oysters, clams, eggs…your favorite food on the list that comes in/with a shell?
Tacos I think, although they’re hard for me to eat. I also love eggs. Need to open my bag of pistachios that I bought at Ekoplaza several weeks ago, intending to use them on my vegan and gluten-free cake experiment. I never ate oysters and have no idea what clems are.

5. Are birthdays a big deal in your house? Is your own birthday a big deal in some way? Elaborate.
I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday. Since going no contact with my parents days before my birthday this year, I believe the hate part is stronger. Most of my fellow residents do like their birthdays. This is one reason I usually do try to do a special activity for mine, like cooking a meal for the entire home (20 residents plus staff).

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I already started this post with a random thought I think. Now that I’ve finished the post (in the classic editor) I’m not sure whether to even publish it. At least I did finally write something again and that’s a win.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 11, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s already past 10PM, but I want to write a #WeekendCoffeeShare post today. I’ve had all my drinks for the day. The staff struggled a bit to understand the type of tea I want, ie. green tea “without the hassle”. I’ve also had all my food for the day. Can you believe pecans are seriously 173 calories for 25 grams? Anyway, no more coffee, tea or snacks for me, but feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. On Monday, the daytime temperature reached 29°C, but for the rest of the week, it’s been less warm. Some people are complaining about the rain, but I’m not.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. Yes, even on Wednesday, when it was rainy all day and I was busy cooking my crispy rice salad that I mentioned yesterday. Yesterday, I had fun riding the side-by-side bike for a bit.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the overnight oats I mentioned yesterday turned out okay, but I maintain that there’s too much black pepper in my chai mix. Oh, and now I’m kicking myself for not having taken a photo.

If we were having coffee, I’d admit that I’ve been spending quite a bit of money on food lately. I don’t mind though, as I can afford it and I now consider cooking and other food preparation a hobby. I also think that if I spend my own money on the food, I might be more conscious not to waste it. Mind you, I still get the institution to buy most of my dinner food, because well if I cook for myself, it means one less meal they need to pay for at the meal delivery service.

Speaking of cooking (and spending!), I am considering buying myself a talking kitchen scale. There are truly expensive ones that directly talk to you (and by expensive I mean like €200) and there are cheaper ones that connect to an iPhone app. Some of the app-based ones are like €50, which I know is still more expensive than a regular scale. Besides, if I buy one of those and the app turns out not to be accessible, that’d be worse than spending €200 on a working scale. However, today I received an ad in my E-mail inbox for an app-based scale for which the app is fully designed with VoiceOver accessibility in mind. It’s still €85, so I’m not yet buying the thing.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that, as you can probably tell, I did spend some money on something else today, ie. my blog. I decided on a whim to see whether the domain name astridblogs.com is still free and it is. Or was. I must say it wasn’t entirely an impulsive decision, since I’ve been considering getting a more “typical” domain name for a while. I’m retaining my original domain name, of course.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d tell you that the client supporter contacted me today. I’d E-mailed her nearly two weeks ago, but apparently she had been quite busy. She has been giving me recommendations of places I might want to apply to, which I’ve been passing on to my care team. I did finally feel comfortable enough to share the doubts I’d had about one of the places she’d suggested. It’s on the Dutch Bible Belt. Even though the institution itself is no longer Christian, the town is and I don’t want to feel like I need to go back into the closet in order to feel safe there. Thankfully, I’ve already told my care team about this and that this place is definitely not high up on my list of places I want to be transferred to. Thankfully, there are still other options.

I do still feel sad at the reality of my needing to move. This feeling is even worse now that I’ve had a number of pretty good days. I’m for sure having everything crossed that the move won’t be yet another horrible choice.

Crafty In the Kitchen

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Esther’s writing prompt for this week is “crafty”. I could of course moan about the fact that I haven’t been crafting anything with polymer clay in at least a month. However, the reason that polymer clay is taking a back seat, is the fact that I’ve been crafty in many other ways. I mean, is cooking a craft? And if so, am I good enough at it to consider myself crafty in this respect? This is a question of skill and of self-esteem that I won’t go into right now. The main thing is that I’ve truly been enjoying being crafty in the kitchen.

Yesterday, a staff who’s almost as easily stressed as I am, was assigned to me for my two-hour activity time slot and I’d planned to cook. What’s more, I’d planned to create a crispy rice salad with tofu, lots of vegetables, a homemade dressing and of course fried rice. Oh my, was I scared! Thankfully, the staff admitted that so was she and this opened the door for both of us to remain calmer than we’d be if we hadn’t been open about our vulnerabilities. And guess what? The process went well and the salad was absolutely delish! The original recipe was for four servings and I didn’t have the guts to change anything, so I had quite a bit left when I’d consumed my meal. Thankfully, I knew this in advance so had asked a fellow resident who loves the cooking experience whether he’d like a serving too. He did and he liked it too. So did the staff I’d cooked it with. So now the three of us all had some extra, but that’s totally okay. By the way, MyFitnessPal was finally content with my protein intake and like I said I hadn’t even eaten meat.

I also love whipping up random food from things I still have left over from previous culinary endeavors. For example, on Tuesday, I made an avocado-chocolate mousse. I looked for coconut milk and cacao powder to go into it when at the supermarket with my best friend on Sunday. We didn’t find the cacao powder, but thankfully I still had enough in my cupboard. However, the recipe only called for 125ml of coconut milk for six servings and the smallest container was 200ml.

Until recently, I’d have thrown away the leftover coconut milk. I’m not saying I won’t do this anymore, as sometimes I totally forget that I have something left in the fridge. However, today I did remember and I whipped up what I’d planned to be a smoothie. I couldn’t find any recipe that I had all the ingredients for, but I experimented by adding frozen mango and the leftover coconut milk to my kitchen machine’s blender. What do you English-speaking people even call a multipurpose food processor/stand mixer/whatever? That’s the thing I have. Anyway, the mixture was way too thick to be a smoothie, but it was delicious as a mousse.

Experimenting does sometimes lead to less desirable results. This evening, for example, I tried to make a homemade chai latte, but my homemade chai mix probably has way too much black pepper in it. I still hope that’s not the problem, as I also added it to my overnight oats for tomorrow. However, I must say culinary craftiness does help me develop my sense of what I like and dislike and why. There I’m talking self-image after all.

Logging My Food

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. I’ve been tracking my food intake over the past week. I did this sporadically over the years when I was dieting (or trying to, that is). Now that I’ve been keeping a food log for a week, I’m getting an inkling of why I never kept my food log for any length of time: I’m not sure whether it’ll actually help me make healthier food choices.

That is, I’m pretty sure it won’t. Almost each day over the past week, the app I’m tracking my food intake in has been telling me that I consume more calories than I burn. It’s also telling me that I consume more fat and carbohydrates than I should and not enough protein. Yes, even on days when I eat meat and dairy. And I tend to choose low-fat dairy and the meal delivery service offers lean meats.

I’m not sure whether I want to continue logging my food intake, because on the one hand, yes, I want to be more conscious of what I shove into my mouth. On the other hand, I don’t want this to become an obsession, especially because it tends to lead to a pendulum effect. What I mean is I might like to know what I’m eating, but if the app keeps telling me it’s too much, I am probably going to decide to screw the entire thing after all and just start eating whatever the heck I want., I don’t want this to turn into another diet.

One thing that the app does help me with, is predict my weight gain or loss. Or at least, that’s what I hope it’ll do. For years, after all, I’ve been worrying that I experience unexplained weight loss. The reason is the fact that I quite easily maintain these days and even lost over 20kg over the years. I’m hoping that, if I do decide to follow through with MyFitnessPal, I’ll be able to see why I’m maintaining, losing or gaining. One worry that I never even thought of until I learned about protein though, is that I’m losing muscle mass.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 4, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this late Friday evening. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10:30PM as I start typing this post, so no more coffee for me. If you’d like something to drink though, feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather, like I usually do. It’s been cloudy and rainy most of the week with daytime temps around 20°C. It’s also still pretty warm indoors.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch so far each day. Did I share that I finally got a perfect month again in August?

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I’m still going strong with the culinary activities. On Wednesday, I cooked a creamy pasta dish. The recipe was supposed to be vegan with a plant-based Parmesan cheese alternative and coconut milk in it instead of cream and actual cheese. I got quite stressed early in the week, feeling guilty that I’d de-veganized the meal by choosing to get regular Parm. I’m not a vegan myself, but I once again twisted my best friend’s yapping about veganism to be a personal attack. It wasn’t, for clarity’s sake! In fact, when she found out I had cooked the dish for my fellow residents as well, she said she’d have discouraged me from using vegan Parm since it can be quite disappointing taste-wise to those who are used to consuming real cheese. She also made it clear that I don’t need to justify my lifestyle choices to her. I apologized for having misinterpreted her activism as a personal attack. By the way, the meal was good.

Pasta

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I’ve been keeping a food log for the past few days in the MyFitnessPal app. I’m doing pretty well except that I’m finding it’s a struggle to get in enough protein on days that I’m not eating meat. I definitely need to research plant-based protein sources, since I’ve read on the Dutch Voedingscentrum (Food Center) site that it’s recommended to get 60% of your protein from plant-based sources. I’m also not getting in enough fiber or so the app says.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that, today, we had French fries and a snack in honor of a fellow resident’s birthday. I’d also eaten an apfelstrüdel in the afternoon, so I exceeded my daily calorie goal by over 300.

I had originally planned to create crispy rice salad this weekend, but the shredded cabbage I got from the supermarket yesterday would’ve needed to be used by Sunday. I ate it today as a side with my fries and snack, because I wasn’t sure it’d retain its full freshness until I could create the rice salad. Now my best friend wants to come by on Sunday anyway, so I’m now not sure whether I’ll be making the crispy rice salad tomorrow or will be postponing it until next week.

Initially, we’d agree to see each other tomorrow, since I needed to get my hair cut. However, this morning I thought I had a cold so canceled the hairdresser appt. My best friend then asked to meet on Sunday because that’s what we usually do. It turned out I don’t really have a cold (though it might be on its way) after all. I do have pretty nasty bowel cramps from the fat in the fries plus the cabbage though. Still not getting enough fiber according to the fitness app.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been feeling rather upset about the lack of apparent progress on the moving front. It’s not necessarily that I wish I could move sooner, but that I’m afraid the higher-ups are doing things behind my back that I have no say in and that this means they won’t care about where I’ll be moving.

If we were having coffee, I’d end with a photo of this evening’s sky at sunset. It’s now past 11:30PM and I’m going off to bed, I think.

Sunset