September 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the end of the month already, so I’m writing a monthly recap. September, overall, was a pretty good month. Weather-wise, it was and honestly still is summerlike. This probably contributes to my better than usual mood.

Not much happened in the way of actual progress on the moving and other care-related fronts. This is frustrating, particularly because it means I have little to fall back on should my mood and behavior deteriorate again. I mean, my support coordinator said last week that they’re doing away with my Care and Force Act agreements on restraint and locking the doors. In theory, this could be positive, in that it isn’t written in my plan anymore that I can be restrained or locked up. However, the reason I wanted an agreement was the fact that staff were just doing whatever the heck they wanted to for years. I no longer have a crisis plan, or not yet, depending on your perspective. I had a horribly long and troublesome plan for years, until a few weeks ago my support coordinator and assigned staff just decided to throw it away and rewrite it from scratch. Again, this could be positive, but it could also be an excuse for staff to do as they please. Since things are going okay here now, I’m not kicking up a fuss, but I do want to make sure things don’t go downhill again. Or rather, that when they do, this doesn’t become the new normal yet again and it doesn’t get taken over to my next place.

Like I said, the month was pretty good overall. I enjoyed a few crafty activities and quite a bit of cooking and baking. I also did a lot of walking and biking.

Health-wise, the month was okay. I remember last year in September, I was quite sick with probable COVID. This year, no cold, flu or COVID symptoms yet. I do have chronic abdominal pain. I’ve had it for years and it was always chalked up to irritable bowel syndrome or constipation, but it’s getting worse despite the fact that I eat a pretty balanced diet. I had bloodwork done to rule out celiac disease, had inflammation indicators checked, calprotectin levels in stool, urine tests and yesterday I had a bladder scan. All are normal so far. I don’t mind just dealing with it if it’s clear that it’s IBS, but I’ve always felt that it’s too easily chalked up to that. Just now, I heard that’s what my GP thinks it is after all. She claims the symptoms could’ve gotten worse because of stress. I call bullshit to that, but whatever.

Lastly, I learned in August that now that my ex-wife and I are divorced, I qualify for compensation of my health insurance payments. I however also have a higher long-term care copay. All in all, I get about €30 less than I got before we divorced. I don’t care, as I can still quite easily make ends meet. Besides, I’ll most likely get some money once the house gets sold. No news on that front yet.

August 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! It’s the final day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly recap. August was a pretty good month in terms of my engaging in interesting and enjoyable activities. It was also a slow month, in that no progress has been made on the home-finding front. In fact, I only realized yesterday that it’s been literally a month since the client supporter contacted me.

I could of course blame the summer for the slow-going process. It’s true, in that my support coordinator and assigned staff were both off for the greater part of August and the behavior specialist is now off until mid-September. It isn’t good though. Because of this, I E-mailed both the client supporter and the client confidante on involuntary care today. After all, no formal progress doesn’t mean life doesn’t go on. I mean, back in my days of online forums, I’d always use some variation of the tagline “Time spent in institutions is not life experience deductable” as my signature. It’s true for the client, but too often the people in charge do not realize this.

It is, in this light, good that I was able to spend a significant amount of time on enjoyable activities. One of those has been cooking and baking. I originally wasn’t sure I wanted to spend over €300 on a food processor if I wasn’t going to be able to do cooking activities at my next home anymore. I obviously could’ve bought a cheaper model, but eventually decided to go for it and just get the model I wanted. I’m lucky in this respect that I’m relatively financially secure. And in case you’re wondering, it took some fiddling around with the whisk attachment, but eventually the cake I wanted to bake on Saturday was a success.

I haven’t heard anything about my Care and Force Act agreement (on when I can and can’t be restrained or secluded) since having had the meeting with the behavior specialist and client confidante three weeks ago. This honestly sucks big time, since even though I’ve only been restrained once during this time, there’s no guarantee that things won’t turn around for the worse again until I’ve actually gotten a proper agreement. And truthfully, even if or when I do, I doubt things will ever be okay here at this home.

That’s the sad realization I’ve come to this month: no matter how good my day is, I’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I think this perpetual sense of apprehension isn’t altogether unfounded.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 14, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this blazing hot Friday. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s 7:30PM as I start typing this post, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will likely be off for a bit before publishing this post to have my evening soft drink and chips. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Oh, I already disclosed that it’s blazing hot again. We’re on our fifth local heatwave this summer if I’m correct. Today, the daytime high was 36°C. Tomorrow we’re going to have a daytime high of “only” 27°C but it’s going to get humid. I always said summer is my favorite season, but now I’m pretty sure it’s not.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this month so far despite the heat. One reason though is the fact that, yesterday, I rode the side-by-side bike to the next town despite it being at least 30°C. That, honestly, was a stupid decision.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I did quite a lot of culinary activities this past week. I finally made iced tea on Monday after having bought loose-leaf green tea on Sunday. I also made a smoothie yesterday and made a tuna salad on Wednesday. No picture, because when it was on my plate, I’d just had an argument with my best friend over my choice to eat dead animals again and this caused me to feel so bad that I didn’t feel like taking a picture. The reason she was upset, by the way, wasn’t necessarily the fact that I eat meat (though that’s a valid reason for her, being a vegan, too), but the fact that I’d told her a few months ago that I would be trying to go vegan when creating my own meals and she felt that I’d lied about my intentions. I hadn’t, but my method of “trying” felt insincere to her. Thankfully, we resolved the argument eventually.

Today, I did create a vegan dessert. I used mango, silken tofu and agave syrup. The staff who helped me make it, didn’t like the strong soy tang,, but I surprisingly didn’t mind. I didn’t particularly like the texture though, which is one more reason I really need to get a food processor.

Mango mousse

If we were having coffee, I’d share that there isn’t any news on the moving front and my Care and Force Act plans probably won’t be fully ready for a couple of weeks at least. After all, both my assigned staff and support coordinator are off until late August and the behavior specialist will be off right after them.

Speaking of which, somehow the orienting of a new staff got messed up yet again this week. My support coordinator had initially said that this staff would be oriented to the activities and ADLs and then we’d evaluate to see if she needed more orienting. A few weeks ago, she told me that the orienting to the activities would be postponed but there wouldn’t be an evaluation after her orientation to my ADLs. This reeks of the one chance policy and I’m horribly upset about it. On top of that, at the last moment the person doing the orienting got switched. Yes, again! I wouldn’t even have found out if I hadn’t inquired about it myself this afternoon. It went kind of okay, but this whole thing still frustrates me to no end.

Now the new staff is an experienced worker, but I have had similar problems with student staff. In late August, a new student staff will start working here and, though my support coordinator thinks she shouldn’t be oriented to me at first, some staff disagree. Besides, if she doesn’t get oriented to me during her introductory time here and the powers-that-be decide later on that she needs to work with me anyway, will we have the same issue we had with the last student as well as with the currently orienting staff, ie. that she isn’t working as an extra anymore? I have absolutely no trust in this entire process.

I’ll sign off now, because I sense that if I continue this will end up being a negative rant again. I’m going to have a cup of green tea now.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 7, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 7:40PM as I start writing my post, so like most times, I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day. I will have a glass of my favorite soft drink in about half an hour and after that it’s just water, or maybe a cup of bedtime tea. However, I’d love for you to join me for a virtual cup of coffee. Let’s get into my post.

If we were having coffee, first I’d rave about the weather. After all, if you know me, you know that in my opinion summer is the best season. It’s September, but the weather is still summer-like. During most of the week, we had daytime highs above 25°C. Tomorrow, it’s supposed to cool off slightly and after that, sometime next week the temps are supposed to drop to 15°C.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I got in a lot of exercise minutes over the past week, mostly walking. I’m doing a challenge with my spouse on our Apple Watches that lasts up till this Monday and so far, I’m doing much better. I had expected to be slightly better because my spouse is a truck driver, but then again we have the same movement goal even though I’m shorter and as a result lighter than my spouse, which means I burn off fewer calories with the same activity.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I had my second play therapy session on Wednesday. The first was a bit of a disappointment, because as soon as she saw my staff, the therapist started saying I could come alone next time. I felt mostly disappointed about the fact that she hadn’t asked me or my staff why I need a staff to attend our sessions. When I explained this at this week’s session, she was totally cool with it.

We mostly played with PlayMobil®, which was really intriguing. I did overshare a bit this week, which I later regretted. It feels really challenging to set healthy boundaries, which is one of my goals that I told the therapist about.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I spoke with my support coordinator again today. On Monday I had a meeting with her and the behavior specialist. One of the things I’d asked to be implemented as soon as possible, is the agreement that staff won’t unlock the door for me when I’m in crisis and will, if necessary, physically prevent me from leaving the home. I had since wondered where the agreement that the door be unlocked came from. I looked at my support agreements, but there was nothing. Today, my support coordinator looked all through my file and couldn’t find the agreement either. This frustrates me, as honestly I have no idea who came up with it. It wouldn’t have been as frustrating, had this not been interpreted as a rule by literally all staff, even staff who hadn’t previously let me out the door. I mean, on Thursday I said I was leaving in an agitated tone and immediately the staff said she’d unlock the door for me. It frustrates me to no end that staff are making rules that they don’t write down and that, as a result, can’t be discussed with me. I hope that, once my support coordinator writes the agreement that I can’t be let out the door, which she’s going to do on Tuesday, this at least will stop in this case. I’m pretty sure there are many other unwritten rules about my care though.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you I’m really feeling like doing something with polymer clay again, but I am rather uninspired. I did try to make a flower pendant this evening, but so far it’s just a cut out flower with no detail.

My Favorite Type of Weather

Posted on by Astrid
Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite type of weather?
View all responses

I am pretty sure I answered this question before when rambling on for one of Paula Light’s former #TGIF posts. At least, I did share that Erwin Kroll, the Netherlands’ most well-known meteorologist during the 1990s, said in an interview for the kids’ audio magazine I subscribed to at the time, that partly cloudy weather with a daytime temperature of 22°C was his favorite and I probably added that mine wouldn’t be far off. I’d prefer slightly warmer weather, but I don’t care for daytime highs in the high 20s, let alone 30s or above.

At night, I prefer a temperature below 10°C. Oh wait, I’m being a bit difficult, as with daytime highs in the 20s, you hardly ever get night-time lows below 10°C.

I used to hate rain with a passion, but now, though I don’t care for it, I will still go outside if it’s drizzling a little. I still can’t stand snow, sleet or hail.

As a side note, I had a discussion with one of my staff a few days back. He said he’d love for the daytime temperature to be 20°C now. I said me too, and we will more than likely get our way sooner rather than later given the speed of climate change, but this does mean summer highs will be in the 40s too. Be careful what you wish for…

The Wednesday HodgePodge (February 1, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. After a month on hiatus, the Wednesday HodgePodge is back and I’m joining in. Here are Joyce’s questions.

1. Tell us anything you want about your January.
It was such a looong month. Oh, that’s a cliche, but who cares? I shared my monthly reflections yesterday.

2. Lake Superior State University posts a list each year of words they think should be banished from the Queen’s English for misuse, overuse, and/or general uselessness. The 2023 list includes GOAT, inflection point, quiet quitting, gaslighting, moving forward, amazing, Does that make sense?, irregardless, absolutely, and it is what it is.
Which of these words/phrases do you use regularly? Which of these words would you most like to see banished from everyday speech and why? Is there a word/phrase not on the list you’d like to add?
I use “absolutely” and “amazing” a lot. I also have a lot of other words I use way too frequently. It’s probably because my written English isn’t as good as I’d like it to be. As for a word or phrase I’d like to see banished most out of this list, it’d be “it is what it is”. That’s just such a useless statement. By the way, I have an inkling “GOAT” when spelled in all-caps means something other than the animal, but I have absolutely (see, here I go again) no idea what it means.

I don’t know which words or phrases I’d add to the list in general, but I’d erase “obviously” and “definitely” from my own personal vocabulary if I could (and replace them with a dozen synonyms). Oh wait, I could do that, but I’m too lazy to use my thesaurus.

3. February 2nd is Groundhog Day. What’s something that feels repeated in your life right now?
Wow, this HodgePodge is a true English lesson! After all, I had no idea what groundhogs even were or what they had to do with repetition. That being said, my days at this point in my life are one giant string of repetition, truthfully. In a way, they’re very unpredictable, but since there is no rhyme or reason to my weeks, the days all roll into each other.

4. What’s a food you love that’s named after a place?
I really don’t know all that many foods named after places. I was going to say “mexicano”, which is a type of rectangular mince snack, but that would be named after the ethnic group. Besides, the mexicano has nothing whatsoever to do with Mexico or Mexican food.

5. What’s the best season of the year to visit your part of the country? Tell us why.
Spring or summer. I live in a part of the Netherlands where the summers can get hotter than, say, in the coastal provinces. However, there’s a lake quite near where I live now, which is good for swimming (we used to go there when my family still lived in Apeldoorn). Spring would also be a good time to take walks around here, I guess, but I haven’t tried that yet as I moved here in the fall.

I wouldn’t recommend visiting the Netherlands during winter at all, as we hardly get snow and, even if we do, we don’t have mountains so it’s no use for skiing.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
My care home’s kitchen renovations are done! They were actually finished nearly a week early. I’m so happy about it, as it means I can finally cure my polymer clay creations in the oven. It also means the living room furniture will be moved back to the actual living room soon rather than all of my fellow clients gathering in the hallway right across from my room. That’s been quite disastrous. Honestly though, I still do want to leave this care home, as the real problems aren’t temporary.

TGIF: Weather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. Fridays are usually pretty active in the blogosphere and there are lots of prompts to choose from on this day. Today, I discovered another one, Paula Light’s TGIF. Today, Paula took the opportunity to talk about the weather and for this reason so will I.

Let me start out with the positives: we had some amazingly warm late summer weather early in the week. Not too hot for my liking, although it did get to 30°C on Tuesday, which I understand is too hot for some. Wednesday was the best: some sunshine but some clouds too, no rain and 25°C during the day.

Thankfully, we did get some much-needed rain too. We got a thunderstorm Tuesday night. My Apple Watch registered sound as loud as 82dB during the storm. I wonder how accurate that is, but well.

We also got some rain yesterday as well as today. Today, in fact, it rained most of the day, but I still managed a short walk outside in the morning.

I tried out my orthopedic shoes, which came back from the shoemaker for the umpteenth time. Well, those who’ve read the orthopedic shoe story before can probably guess what’s next. Yes, indeed, I did get another small blister on my right heel after a walk of not even 20 minutes. I’ve told you guys before that the shoes won’t be fixed until 2034 and I’m more and more confident I’m correct after all.

Despite only managing one walk, I did reach my Apple Watch’s Movement goal today. Okay, I did go on the elliptical for just over 15 minutes too. That went surprisingly well, honestly.

Tomorrow, if we aren’t getting lots of rain in the morning, I’ll likely go for a longer walk. A staff who walks quite fast works my one-on-one shift then. Last time we went on a walk together, I broke my speed record: 13 minutes 11 seconds per km. That’s not very fast, but it’s not slow either. Let’s hope for not much rain tomorrow morning.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (August 24, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m late today to write my contribution to the Wednesday HodgePodge. Joyce titles her post something about blueberry waffles, but I’m afraid I ate the last of my blueberries yesterday and I don’t have any waffles either. Oh well. Here are Joyce’s questions.

1. August 24th is National Waffle Day…what’s something you’ve “waffled” on recently?
I’m not sure what to “waffle” means exactly – and to be honest had never heard of the word “waffle” as a verb before. Then again, according to my intro to linguistics professor at uni, every noun in English can be verbed. Anyway, according to a Google search, it seems to mean to blather on about something. Which I just did, I guess. A recent topic I’ve been blathering on about though has been my Apple Watch, which I finally ordered on Sunday and have been fully using as of today.

2. Do you like waffles? Make your own or ‘leggo my Eggo? Any favorite toppings or add-ins? Waffles or pancakes-which do you prefer?
I like good homemade or bakery waffles, but don’t really care for store-bought waffles. I prefer pancakes though. For toppings, both on pancakes and waffles, I love powdered sugar, summer fruit, raisins and/or nuts.

3. Do you have any momentos from this summer (or past summers)? What do you do with them?
I don’t think I do, but once again I’m not sure what momentos are. Are they like souvenirs? In that case, no. I almost got myself something on my and my husband’s day trip to Enkhuizen last Saturday.

4. One thing you’d like to do before summer ends?
Go to the town fair. It started today with a sensory-friendly fair experience with activities such as a merry-go-round etc. I’d like to see the market stalls though, which will be there from tomorrow until Saturday. There will also be some pretty good music or so I’ve heard, but I’m likely to go tomorrow morning, because the daytime temperature is supposed to climb to 33°C.

5. Life is too short to…
Worry about my health. Oh well, how I wish I could stop actually worrying about it. Thankfully, my Apple Watch gives me some sort of sense of control.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Of course, now it’s time to brag about surpassing all three of my activity goals on my Apple Watch today, ie. movement, standing and exercise. I had set my exercise goal lower than the Apple Watch proposed, but my movement goal higher. I’m absolutely loving being able to start workouts on my Apple Watch, something I could never do on my Fitbit because the touch screen is not accessible. I so far really love this new gadget.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (August 17, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge again. Here are Joyce’s questions.

1. August is National Back To School Month…how does that make you feel? Share a back-to-school memory.
I don’t really feel much regarding back-to-school time, as I’m not in school anymore (it’s been 17 years since I graduated high school) and my nieces are too young to be in school. I’m so glad to be out of school though.

A back-to-school memory? My first day at the school for the blind I spent fourth till sixth grade at. We went to church to mark the beginning of the school year, as it was a Christian school. I found it all very strange, having never been to a church before, since my parents are atheists. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep during the service though.

2. Something you’ve learned in “the school of life”?
People who get paid to have any sort of relationship with you, won’t stick around for you, so you have no reason to stay for them either. Yes, I’m referring to my wish to transfer to another care facility here.

3. Three words to describe your current mood.
Unquiet, determined, sad.

4. A summer food you’ve eaten too much of/are tired of? A summer food you haven’t had enough of?
There isn’t any summer food I’m really tired of, though today I turned down another ice cream cone because I’d had three in the past week already. A summer food I haven’t had enough of? Summer fruit!

5. What small stuff do you sweat that you know you shouldn’t?
I tend to get very easily frustrated, so quite a lot, but lately I’ve also tried to solve small problems more rather than just not caring. An example are air bubbles in my clay. The reason that I do try to solve the problem now, is that I know how to (to an extent) rather than just having to wait for my pieces to be cured and then deciding whether they go in the trash or are just about good enough to be displayed. It’s a tricky balancing act of trying not to sweat the small stuff but also trying not to be careless.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Yesterday, we had daytime temperatures of 30°C. It isn’t expected to get this hot again anytime this year. My husband, not surprisingly, started the Christmas prep WhatsApp group with his family. He always does in mid-August. I, too, before we got to discuss this, started reading a winter-themed chapter book.

Five Favorite Summer Drinks #5Things

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining the #5Things challenge once again. This week’s topic is favorite summer drinks. Now I must say I’m not a person who loves a variety of drinks even generally, so this was a hard topic. I mean, I don’t care for lemonade, slush or juice, let alone soda or other fizzy drinks. Here is my attempt at coming up with five summer drinks I will have anyway.

1. Milkshakes. I particularly love banana and vanilla flavored milkshakes.

2. Water with fruit infusions. I love it with strawberries, cucumber, cherries, and lots of other fruits. When I tried to put some orange into my fruit infusion bottle recently, somehow some of the orange got into the actual water, which I didn’t like.

3. Iced coffee. I don’t have this often, as it is usually high in calories, but I do love iced coffee at times.

4. Smoothies. I love creating all kinds of fruit and vegetable smoothies particularly in summer, when there’s a greater variety of fruit available. Of course, I’ll still use frozen berries, as they are less expensive than the fresh kind.

5. Plain, cold water. I usually have two bottles of water in the fridge that I drink from when I want water. Especially in summer, water straight from the tap doesn’t get nearly cold enough for my liking. Out of all the things I drink, water is probably my most frequently consumed.