#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 16, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last touched the blog, sadly. I somehow couldn’t get motivated. Today though, I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s 9:30PM as I start typing this post and I’ll probably go to bed right after finishing it. Will check out my fellow coffee share bloggers tomorrow.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s still been insanely warm for this time of year. Yesterday, the daytime temp even reached 20°C. We thankfully did get some rain.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I have my first proper cold of the year. Yes, the year, not the season. It’s no fun, but I’m intensely grateful I’ve avoided it so far. I mainly have a nasty cough and a little sniff. Of course, I’m a little tired too, but it’s nothing compared to the probable COVID I had a little over a year ago.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. Not my exercise goal, as some days, I can’t or don’t want to go for a longer walk and the side-by-side bike was taken in for repairs last week. I guess I did break it when I had that meltdown on the bike a few weeks ago after all, though it wasn’t solely my responsibility, since the fact that staff denied the problem and kept using the bike most likely didn’t do it any good.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I am still undecided as to whether my food processor thingy was worth the money. I’m leaning towards regretting having chosen this one, but not having had any other one, I can’t know whether it’s this brand or food processors just aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

I did cook a meal using it last week as well as this past Wednesday. Last week, after we figured out how to attach the accessory for blending my sauce, it did a great job. I cooked a pasta dish with roasted bell peppers.

This week, I used the same add-on to chop some garlic and ginger and blend it into a curry paste, but it turned out the care home’s cheap immersion blender did a better job finishing the process than my food processor. I’m not sure whether I somehow broke the equipment or whether it’s just no use for this particular job. I must say my piece of ginger was quite large. Either way, my curry was good after all.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, today, I finally managed to play some with polymer clay again. Nothing fancy, just a simple Christmas ornament and something I might turn into a pendant later on, but it was fun.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I’m struggling intensely with worries about the future, particularly relating to my need to move again. Last week, I found out that it’s unlikely my current care agency will be able to support me, in that their current homes aren’t suitable for me. They have one place that’s currently being developed that the behavior specialist said they’re still looking into. That place would be ideal in terms of distance to my best friend, so I inquired about how seriously this place is being considered, given that it won’t be opened until May of 2027 or maybe even later. No response to that. Then yesterday I found out that somehow it’s been decided that the independent client supporter will take over applying to new places rather than my care agency’s placement person. I asked them whether this means the place I was told about last week isn’t an option after all. No response so far.

I’m struggling with this especially because I’m more and more convinced that there won’t be a suitable place for me anyway. I mean, there’s no doubt there are places in which staff are more able to cope with challenging behavior, but how they choose to cope with it likely won’t be helping me. Like, my last home was officially much more equipped to deal with challenging behavior, but they ended up treating me like trash.

It doesn’t help that, on Monday, a staff who has known me from my previous home and is now a regular substitute staff here, claimed I did much better at my last home and during the first year I was here. This honestly has me feeling that what staff see as me doing well is almost entirely contradictory to how I see it. After all, even though it may not look like it from my blog, my day-to-day quality of life is better than it was three or four years ago.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (September 23, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge once again. Here goes.

1. Fall arrives this week in the northern hemisphere. Does it look/feel like fall where you live?What’s something you love to do this time of year that makes you feel its officially fall?
It doesn’t look or feel like fall here yet. The temps are still in the lower 20s Celsius and a temperature of 25°C (which is called summerlike here) is in the forecast for next week. I do think I heard some staff say that some leaves are starting to color, but not much.

I don’t really have any fall traditions, honestly. To me, it doesn’t officially feel like fall/winter until the clock falls back at the end of October.

2. What’s a small daily task or chore that always seems to fall through the cracks when your schedule gets busy?
Truthfully? Showering. I don’t like the feel of it one bit and it costs me a lot of energy. It’s the first thing that I avoid when I’m too overloaded. I must of course explain here that I don’t do any daily household chores myself, so that leaves only the bare necessities. As such, maybe I should’ve said every daily chore falls through the cracks.

3. What’s something you’re falling for lately?
Cooking supplies and unnecessary food items. I am almost proud of myself for not immediately having ordered the food processor add-on I’ve been wanting ever since I found out it doesn’t come with the main package right when my benefits came in today.

4.  Pumpkin is a popular flavor this time of year.  Are you a fan?
Not a fan per se, but I don’t hate it either. I actually did love the pasta bake I made last week. Since there’s no actual pumpkin in pumpkin spice, I’m not sure whether that’s included in this question but I do think I’d love that. Still wanting to try a pumpkin spice latte.

5. What’s something you wish would never change? Explain.
My friendship with my best friend. We celebrated nineteen years since first meeting last Saturday. I’m scared it will change though. That is, I know it will with both of us moving and expanding our circles etc. as well as both of us learning to be more authentic, but at least I hope it’ll never fully end.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Today, I was talking culinary activities with my support coordinator and mentioned wanting to bake my own bread at least once. She saw how excited talking about it made me! I’m for sure hoping I can give it a try sometime soon. At least she agreed to order flour and yeast.

Crafty In the Kitchen

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Esther’s writing prompt for this week is “crafty”. I could of course moan about the fact that I haven’t been crafting anything with polymer clay in at least a month. However, the reason that polymer clay is taking a back seat, is the fact that I’ve been crafty in many other ways. I mean, is cooking a craft? And if so, am I good enough at it to consider myself crafty in this respect? This is a question of skill and of self-esteem that I won’t go into right now. The main thing is that I’ve truly been enjoying being crafty in the kitchen.

Yesterday, a staff who’s almost as easily stressed as I am, was assigned to me for my two-hour activity time slot and I’d planned to cook. What’s more, I’d planned to create a crispy rice salad with tofu, lots of vegetables, a homemade dressing and of course fried rice. Oh my, was I scared! Thankfully, the staff admitted that so was she and this opened the door for both of us to remain calmer than we’d be if we hadn’t been open about our vulnerabilities. And guess what? The process went well and the salad was absolutely delish! The original recipe was for four servings and I didn’t have the guts to change anything, so I had quite a bit left when I’d consumed my meal. Thankfully, I knew this in advance so had asked a fellow resident who loves the cooking experience whether he’d like a serving too. He did and he liked it too. So did the staff I’d cooked it with. So now the three of us all had some extra, but that’s totally okay. By the way, MyFitnessPal was finally content with my protein intake and like I said I hadn’t even eaten meat.

I also love whipping up random food from things I still have left over from previous culinary endeavors. For example, on Tuesday, I made an avocado-chocolate mousse. I looked for coconut milk and cacao powder to go into it when at the supermarket with my best friend on Sunday. We didn’t find the cacao powder, but thankfully I still had enough in my cupboard. However, the recipe only called for 125ml of coconut milk for six servings and the smallest container was 200ml.

Until recently, I’d have thrown away the leftover coconut milk. I’m not saying I won’t do this anymore, as sometimes I totally forget that I have something left in the fridge. However, today I did remember and I whipped up what I’d planned to be a smoothie. I couldn’t find any recipe that I had all the ingredients for, but I experimented by adding frozen mango and the leftover coconut milk to my kitchen machine’s blender. What do you English-speaking people even call a multipurpose food processor/stand mixer/whatever? That’s the thing I have. Anyway, the mixture was way too thick to be a smoothie, but it was delicious as a mousse.

Experimenting does sometimes lead to less desirable results. This evening, for example, I tried to make a homemade chai latte, but my homemade chai mix probably has way too much black pepper in it. I still hope that’s not the problem, as I also added it to my overnight oats for tomorrow. However, I must say culinary craftiness does help me develop my sense of what I like and dislike and why. There I’m talking self-image after all.

August 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! It’s the final day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly recap. August was a pretty good month in terms of my engaging in interesting and enjoyable activities. It was also a slow month, in that no progress has been made on the home-finding front. In fact, I only realized yesterday that it’s been literally a month since the client supporter contacted me.

I could of course blame the summer for the slow-going process. It’s true, in that my support coordinator and assigned staff were both off for the greater part of August and the behavior specialist is now off until mid-September. It isn’t good though. Because of this, I E-mailed both the client supporter and the client confidante on involuntary care today. After all, no formal progress doesn’t mean life doesn’t go on. I mean, back in my days of online forums, I’d always use some variation of the tagline “Time spent in institutions is not life experience deductable” as my signature. It’s true for the client, but too often the people in charge do not realize this.

It is, in this light, good that I was able to spend a significant amount of time on enjoyable activities. One of those has been cooking and baking. I originally wasn’t sure I wanted to spend over €300 on a food processor if I wasn’t going to be able to do cooking activities at my next home anymore. I obviously could’ve bought a cheaper model, but eventually decided to go for it and just get the model I wanted. I’m lucky in this respect that I’m relatively financially secure. And in case you’re wondering, it took some fiddling around with the whisk attachment, but eventually the cake I wanted to bake on Saturday was a success.

I haven’t heard anything about my Care and Force Act agreement (on when I can and can’t be restrained or secluded) since having had the meeting with the behavior specialist and client confidante three weeks ago. This honestly sucks big time, since even though I’ve only been restrained once during this time, there’s no guarantee that things won’t turn around for the worse again until I’ve actually gotten a proper agreement. And truthfully, even if or when I do, I doubt things will ever be okay here at this home.

That’s the sad realization I’ve come to this month: no matter how good my day is, I’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I think this perpetual sense of apprehension isn’t altogether unfounded.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 28, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! I’m joining in with #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s nearly 11PM, so I’m hoping I can finish this post before midnight. I don’t think I even want water anymore before going to bed, but if you’d like a cup of something to drink, feel free to and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been all over the place. Early in the week, we had cool nights during which the temperature dropped to 7°C. Yesterday was hot again with a daytime temp of 29°C. We got thunderstorms last night and it’s been raining all day today.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I met my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day except for today so far. Now I’m in doubt as to which option is the lesser of two evils: not meeting my movement goal or not finishing this post before midnight. Neither is truly disastrous, of course, but both cause me some autistic error.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, yesterday, I rode the side-by-side bike to Deventer with a staff. We visited the market, where I bought olives mostly because the vendor was trying to be friendly. I know it’s a selling tactic but I don’t care. Heck, he even suggested he’d see me tomorrow (today) at the other market I frequent. I told him not to get his hopes up.

We also ate lunch and then rode the bike to the town center for Ekoplaza, a health food store. I was looking for silken tofu, but it was in the fridge and I had to cycle nearly half an hour back to the institution, so I decided that wouldn’t be a good idea. Then I bought several other things that I later realized I should’ve bought at the regular supermarket because they were horribly expensive at Ekoplaza. Oh well.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I finally bought myself a food processor. I’m not entirely sure I like the particular model I got, mostly because it has a lot of gadgets I thought I could use but may not be able to after all and it lacks attachments I wish it had. For example, I full on thought it had a grinder attachment but it didn’t. That either means chopping my onions myself or investing in another part (thankfully, the grinder is available as an attachment for this model).

Tomorrow, I’ll find out whether the thing actually does the job it was originally intended for, because I’m going to make a vegan and gluten-free cake that the mixture for needs to be processed. I’m a little saddened that my best friend doesn’t feel well so isn’t going to come by on Sunday. If it turns out good though, I will make it another time for her.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I did enjoy a dinner prep activity again on Wednesday. I cooked something that was called a curry on the Good Food website but it was more like a bean stew. It had kidney beans, tomato, onions, garlic and ginger in it, in addition to coriander stalks. The coriander leaves were supposed to be used on top of the curry, but the staff forgot those. The weather outside was really nice that evening, so I ate my meal at my outside table.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that it’s probably supposed to be this way but I just found out that another person I recently became friends with is a vegan. We met through a peer support group and for a while used to talk mostly about our issues, but today I shared about my Ekoplaza adventure and this got us chatting plant-based food. If there’s a higher power, it’s probably telling me I should go vegan too. Then again, my best friend already told me jokingly that I’m a changeling (referring to a former online nickname) for not fancying pizza tonight.