#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 16, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last touched the blog, sadly. I somehow couldn’t get motivated. Today though, I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s 9:30PM as I start typing this post and I’ll probably go to bed right after finishing it. Will check out my fellow coffee share bloggers tomorrow.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s still been insanely warm for this time of year. Yesterday, the daytime temp even reached 20°C. We thankfully did get some rain.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I have my first proper cold of the year. Yes, the year, not the season. It’s no fun, but I’m intensely grateful I’ve avoided it so far. I mainly have a nasty cough and a little sniff. Of course, I’m a little tired too, but it’s nothing compared to the probable COVID I had a little over a year ago.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. Not my exercise goal, as some days, I can’t or don’t want to go for a longer walk and the side-by-side bike was taken in for repairs last week. I guess I did break it when I had that meltdown on the bike a few weeks ago after all, though it wasn’t solely my responsibility, since the fact that staff denied the problem and kept using the bike most likely didn’t do it any good.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I am still undecided as to whether my food processor thingy was worth the money. I’m leaning towards regretting having chosen this one, but not having had any other one, I can’t know whether it’s this brand or food processors just aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

I did cook a meal using it last week as well as this past Wednesday. Last week, after we figured out how to attach the accessory for blending my sauce, it did a great job. I cooked a pasta dish with roasted bell peppers.

This week, I used the same add-on to chop some garlic and ginger and blend it into a curry paste, but it turned out the care home’s cheap immersion blender did a better job finishing the process than my food processor. I’m not sure whether I somehow broke the equipment or whether it’s just no use for this particular job. I must say my piece of ginger was quite large. Either way, my curry was good after all.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, today, I finally managed to play some with polymer clay again. Nothing fancy, just a simple Christmas ornament and something I might turn into a pendant later on, but it was fun.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I’m struggling intensely with worries about the future, particularly relating to my need to move again. Last week, I found out that it’s unlikely my current care agency will be able to support me, in that their current homes aren’t suitable for me. They have one place that’s currently being developed that the behavior specialist said they’re still looking into. That place would be ideal in terms of distance to my best friend, so I inquired about how seriously this place is being considered, given that it won’t be opened until May of 2027 or maybe even later. No response to that. Then yesterday I found out that somehow it’s been decided that the independent client supporter will take over applying to new places rather than my care agency’s placement person. I asked them whether this means the place I was told about last week isn’t an option after all. No response so far.

I’m struggling with this especially because I’m more and more convinced that there won’t be a suitable place for me anyway. I mean, there’s no doubt there are places in which staff are more able to cope with challenging behavior, but how they choose to cope with it likely won’t be helping me. Like, my last home was officially much more equipped to deal with challenging behavior, but they ended up treating me like trash.

It doesn’t help that, on Monday, a staff who has known me from my previous home and is now a regular substitute staff here, claimed I did much better at my last home and during the first year I was here. This honestly has me feeling that what staff see as me doing well is almost entirely contradictory to how I see it. After all, even though it may not look like it from my blog, my day-to-day quality of life is better than it was three or four years ago.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 2, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. How can it be October already? How can it not, you might say. I’m joining in wiht #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10PM as I start typing this, so no more coffee or other drinks or food for me. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage though and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s unusually warm for October and that’s an understatement. On Tuesday and Wednesday, which I know were technically still September but oh well, the daytime high was 26°C. I don’t think daytime highs under 20°C are in the forecast until later next week.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I did quite a bit of walking over the week. On Tuesday, I even took a walk off institution grounds. The staff who was with me at first wasn’t sure I could walk an uneven path and wanted to stay in the residential area, but I assured her I’d walked the path before. No pictures, unfortunately.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I didn’t engage in any major cooking projects over the week but I did do quite a few small food prep activities. My most elaborate culinary activity was me making a vegan mango and avocado salad with black beans. It was absolutely delish and I regret not having taken a photo.

I also finally think I figured out how to make the perfect smoothie bowl. The key is just about enough liquid to move the blender blades. Another important thing is not to overblend your smoothie. Today, for the first time, I probably had too little liquid at first. I hope this hasn’t caused damage to my blender. This was a quick mid-afternoon snack smoothie bowl, so just banana, pineapple and coconut milk (and a little water once I figured out the blades wouldn’t move otherwise). I didn’t use any toppings this time.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I was also a little crafty yesterday. I made a bracelet. It was slightly too large for me, so I gave it to the staff I made it with.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d moan about the fact that there’s still no news on the moving front. I looked up the institution in the Dutch Bible Belt town. This has caused me some mixed feelings. There’s a documentary series about it on Dutch television right now. It portrays VIC (very intensive care) homes. These are homes similar to my previous home or even more restrictive. Though the staff being filmed aren’t as harsh to the clients as my former staff were, part of the reason is probably the fact that they were being filmed. I didn’t find out that this series was filmed at this specific institution until after I’d shared in an online group that the higher-ups are considering moving me to that one. Now my staff say it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be transferred to a VIC home. They keep telling me the higher-ups truly want a suitable place for me. Then again, that’s what the staff in Raalte back in 2022 said too. I know I’m not so physically aggressive that I need a VIC home, but I also know that it’s not that causing my staff to struggle with me: it’s my way with words. Besides, even at my previous home I was told everybody found me to be challenging Yet at the same time I was being told to my face that I’d always get the least familiar staff and they’d always leave me alone first because I wasn’t physically aggressive. In other words, I was the least physically violent yet almost by extension the hardest to restrain into submission. It’s this power dynamic that’s basically the story of my life and it sucks.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 26, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again today. It’s just past 7:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will probably have my evening soft drink before finishing this post. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage too and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been quite warm for September and we’ve hardly had any rain. On Tuesday and Wednesday next week, daytime highs over 25°C are in the forecast again. It’s a blessing and a curse that I alone can’t do much about this climate change thing.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. I did a fair amount of walking this past week but also rode the side-by-side bike several times. On Tuesday, I had a meltdown on the bike and probably damaged it, but it still works.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I didn’t do any cooking this past week except for making some smoothie bowls. On Thursday, I made a vegan carrot cake smoothie bowl topped with pumpkin and sunflower seeds. I’m still trying to figure out the right thickness.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I got an E-mail from the person in charge of applying to potential new care providers at last. The person E-mailing me is responsible for the intellectual disability population here and is still waiting on the one for the brain injury branch of my current care agency. This person will be back at work next week. The one E-mailing me did ssay that they were indeed considering the institution on the Bible Belt I mentioned a few weeks ago.

Because of this, I decided to text my best friend with my concerns. I’d mentioned the town before, but only in passing and I don’t want the powers-that-be to find a place for me there only for me to find out that my best friend can’t or won’t visit me there. As it turns out, though obviously she cannot see herself living there, she pointed out that a lot of my feelings about the place might in fact be prejudice. It’s a long drive from her current house and an even longer drive from where she’s considering moving when the house gets sold, but we’re both okay with that, as both of us (me first, in fact) realize our lives don’t revolve around being together. At least, not anymore, sad as it is.

I had some concerns about the institution itself too. It’s a major intellectual disability institution like the one I’m in now, but it looks like most of the homes cater to people with challenging behavior. That can be interpreted as a good sign or a bad sign. I mean, I definitely have some level of challenging behavior and, if the staff at a prospective home are truly equipped to deal with it, it should be better than my current home. However, just because a home caters to people with challenging behavior doesn’t mean the staff truly know how to deal with it, as my experience at the intensive support home shows. One positive in this respect is the fact that the institution actually follows a particular support approach (and one that I can see working for me if done right). In theory at least, it isn’t just a prison in disguise.

One other positive is the fact that the institution includes several homes specifically for people with brain injury, including those with complex needs. This is the kind of home I’m hoping to move into. I’ve also heard they accept my care profile (funding). Let’s see where this leads.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 19, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a post yesterday. In fact, I had several ideas in mind. However, by the time I’d sorted through my ideas, it was already past 11PM. One of those ideas was, of course, a contribution to #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m doing that now. I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will soon get my evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, as usual I’d start out by talking about the weather. On Tuesday, we had a gorgeous late summer day with temperatures rising to 26°C. For the rest of the week, temps have been less extreme. In fact, I’m already occasionally wearing a sweater.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’m still meeting my Apple Watch’s movement goal each day. Today, I got my September challenge badge too. I am still mostly exercising by walking, but did ride the side-by-side bike to the next town again on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve finally been claying again. On Monday, I tried to make a unicorn for the intellectual disability physician, who’s retiring in a few weeks. I’d already made her a card, but wanted to make something out of polymer clay too. Unfortunately, we were in a bit of a hurry and it showed in the result. I’m still not entirely sure what the exact problem was, but parts of the thing broke off way too easily.

Thankfully, on Thursday, I was able to give it another try and this time, my unicorn was a success. I used seed beads for the eyes. The green blob on the side that my camera doesn’t properly capture is once again a four-leaf clover.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve been quite active in the kitchen too. On Wednesday, I cooked a zucchini and pumpkin pasta bake for my side of the home. The staff tried to show me how he cuts zucchini, but despite it not working for me,I tried one too many times. This caused me to cut into my thumb. The cut isn’t bad, thankfully. In fact, the most distressing aspect was my fearing the staff would not allow me to cut up my own food anymore. Thankfully, this isn’t the case.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I did some reading again over the past few days. I may’ve shared that my Braille display is perpetually acting up, so I don’t use it by default anymore. Yesterday, I finally figured out how to use Voice Dream Reader, the iPhone’s main accessible book app, without my Braille display. Sort of, that is. I still prefer my Braille display, but until I can get it fixed, I don’t want to use it too often in case I cause further damage.

I also did read a book in the native iOS Books app. I used both my Braille display and VoiceOver’s speech synthesizer for this. The book is called These Bodies Ain’t Broken and it’s an anthology of YA horror stories featuring disabled protagonists. So far, the stories are very good, though I’m beginning to believe being a little hard to understand is a feature of the genre.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d say that there’s still no news on the moving front. I lived in my current care home exactly three years yesterday. It’s making me sad, honestly, realizing that even in supposed long-term living places, I can never seem to make it last. I mean, the longest I’ve ever been in one place during my adult life was just over four years and that was at the psych hospital’s resocialization unit that had been clear from the get-go that my stay there would be temporary. I’m thinking I shouldn’t be commemorating big days like these anymore. I didn’t yesterday, but it’s still hard to completely let go of the grief.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (September 16, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been forever since I last participated in the Wednesday Hodgepodge. This is my third attempt at writing this post. If I believed in fate, it should’ve been a sign that I shouldn’t be taking part anymore, I guess. Either that or WordPress just doesn’t like me, since neither the block editor nor the classic editor work nicely right now. Anyway, here are Joyce’s questions.

1. How do you define beauty?
Like Joyce, I think beauty comes mostly from within. I’m going to tease her a little by giving an example tied in with the reason I originally left the Hodgepodge: back in I believe 2023, a trans woman won the Miss Netehrlands contest. She wasn’t the most physically attractive contestant. However, even a Miss contest isn’t about physical looks alone and her confidence for sure shone through. I won’t go into a rant on the entire Miss thing as inherently wrong and, as regular readers of this blog know, I feel strongly about the fact that trans women are women. If you disagree, please don’t start an argument here unless you’re genuinely willing to be educated. My point by choosing this example is, showing up in the world as you are, especially in spite of persecution, is, in my opinion, a surefire sign of beauty.

2. Have you ever taken a trip by train? If so where did you go and what did you think of the experience? If not do you have any desire to do so? Where would you like to go?
I have traveled by train many times. I don’t know what defines a “train trip” vs. just traveling on a train, but the most adventurous train ride I took was a day-long trip from a town near the Germany/Netherlands border to Berlin, just using regional railroads. I used to love train travel back when I still (thought I) was more independent than I am now, but haven’t been on a train in many years.

3. Shell shocked, bombshell, bandshell, shellacking, in a nutshell, walking on eggshells…choose one and tell us why you chose it, or how it relates to your life in some way currently.
I’m choosing “walking on eggshells”, although I could also choose “bombshell”. Both relate to the fact that I’m going to move to another care facility at some point. I didn’t share this with the Hodgepodge community, although some of the participants follow my blog outside of it too so may know. Being told I’ll be moving again was quite the bombshell. I’m walking on eggshells sometimes now fearing I’ll be transferred to a crisis unit if the home-finding process doesn’t go quickly enough.

4. Tacos, pistachios, oysters, clams, eggs…your favorite food on the list that comes in/with a shell?
Tacos I think, although they’re hard for me to eat. I also love eggs. Need to open my bag of pistachios that I bought at Ekoplaza several weeks ago, intending to use them on my vegan and gluten-free cake experiment. I never ate oysters and have no idea what clems are.

5. Are birthdays a big deal in your house? Is your own birthday a big deal in some way? Elaborate.
I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday. Since going no contact with my parents days before my birthday this year, I believe the hate part is stronger. Most of my fellow residents do like their birthdays. This is one reason I usually do try to do a special activity for mine, like cooking a meal for the entire home (20 residents plus staff).

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I already started this post with a random thought I think. Now that I’ve finished the post (in the classic editor) I’m not sure whether to even publish it. At least I did finally write something again and that’s a win.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 11, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s already past 10PM, but I want to write a #WeekendCoffeeShare post today. I’ve had all my drinks for the day. The staff struggled a bit to understand the type of tea I want, ie. green tea “without the hassle”. I’ve also had all my food for the day. Can you believe pecans are seriously 173 calories for 25 grams? Anyway, no more coffee, tea or snacks for me, but feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. On Monday, the daytime temperature reached 29°C, but for the rest of the week, it’s been less warm. Some people are complaining about the rain, but I’m not.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. Yes, even on Wednesday, when it was rainy all day and I was busy cooking my crispy rice salad that I mentioned yesterday. Yesterday, I had fun riding the side-by-side bike for a bit.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the overnight oats I mentioned yesterday turned out okay, but I maintain that there’s too much black pepper in my chai mix. Oh, and now I’m kicking myself for not having taken a photo.

If we were having coffee, I’d admit that I’ve been spending quite a bit of money on food lately. I don’t mind though, as I can afford it and I now consider cooking and other food preparation a hobby. I also think that if I spend my own money on the food, I might be more conscious not to waste it. Mind you, I still get the institution to buy most of my dinner food, because well if I cook for myself, it means one less meal they need to pay for at the meal delivery service.

Speaking of cooking (and spending!), I am considering buying myself a talking kitchen scale. There are truly expensive ones that directly talk to you (and by expensive I mean like €200) and there are cheaper ones that connect to an iPhone app. Some of the app-based ones are like €50, which I know is still more expensive than a regular scale. Besides, if I buy one of those and the app turns out not to be accessible, that’d be worse than spending €200 on a working scale. However, today I received an ad in my E-mail inbox for an app-based scale for which the app is fully designed with VoiceOver accessibility in mind. It’s still €85, so I’m not yet buying the thing.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that, as you can probably tell, I did spend some money on something else today, ie. my blog. I decided on a whim to see whether the domain name astridblogs.com is still free and it is. Or was. I must say it wasn’t entirely an impulsive decision, since I’ve been considering getting a more “typical” domain name for a while. I’m retaining my original domain name, of course.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d tell you that the client supporter contacted me today. I’d E-mailed her nearly two weeks ago, but apparently she had been quite busy. She has been giving me recommendations of places I might want to apply to, which I’ve been passing on to my care team. I did finally feel comfortable enough to share the doubts I’d had about one of the places she’d suggested. It’s on the Dutch Bible Belt. Even though the institution itself is no longer Christian, the town is and I don’t want to feel like I need to go back into the closet in order to feel safe there. Thankfully, I’ve already told my care team about this and that this place is definitely not high up on my list of places I want to be transferred to. Thankfully, there are still other options.

I do still feel sad at the reality of my needing to move. This feeling is even worse now that I’ve had a number of pretty good days. I’m for sure having everything crossed that the move won’t be yet another horrible choice.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 4, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this late Friday evening. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10:30PM as I start typing this post, so no more coffee for me. If you’d like something to drink though, feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather, like I usually do. It’s been cloudy and rainy most of the week with daytime temps around 20°C. It’s also still pretty warm indoors.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch so far each day. Did I share that I finally got a perfect month again in August?

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I’m still going strong with the culinary activities. On Wednesday, I cooked a creamy pasta dish. The recipe was supposed to be vegan with a plant-based Parmesan cheese alternative and coconut milk in it instead of cream and actual cheese. I got quite stressed early in the week, feeling guilty that I’d de-veganized the meal by choosing to get regular Parm. I’m not a vegan myself, but I once again twisted my best friend’s yapping about veganism to be a personal attack. It wasn’t, for clarity’s sake! In fact, when she found out I had cooked the dish for my fellow residents as well, she said she’d have discouraged me from using vegan Parm since it can be quite disappointing taste-wise to those who are used to consuming real cheese. She also made it clear that I don’t need to justify my lifestyle choices to her. I apologized for having misinterpreted her activism as a personal attack. By the way, the meal was good.

Pasta

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I’ve been keeping a food log for the past few days in the MyFitnessPal app. I’m doing pretty well except that I’m finding it’s a struggle to get in enough protein on days that I’m not eating meat. I definitely need to research plant-based protein sources, since I’ve read on the Dutch Voedingscentrum (Food Center) site that it’s recommended to get 60% of your protein from plant-based sources. I’m also not getting in enough fiber or so the app says.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that, today, we had French fries and a snack in honor of a fellow resident’s birthday. I’d also eaten an apfelstrüdel in the afternoon, so I exceeded my daily calorie goal by over 300.

I had originally planned to create crispy rice salad this weekend, but the shredded cabbage I got from the supermarket yesterday would’ve needed to be used by Sunday. I ate it today as a side with my fries and snack, because I wasn’t sure it’d retain its full freshness until I could create the rice salad. Now my best friend wants to come by on Sunday anyway, so I’m now not sure whether I’ll be making the crispy rice salad tomorrow or will be postponing it until next week.

Initially, we’d agree to see each other tomorrow, since I needed to get my hair cut. However, this morning I thought I had a cold so canceled the hairdresser appt. My best friend then asked to meet on Sunday because that’s what we usually do. It turned out I don’t really have a cold (though it might be on its way) after all. I do have pretty nasty bowel cramps from the fat in the fries plus the cabbage though. Still not getting enough fiber according to the fitness app.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been feeling rather upset about the lack of apparent progress on the moving front. It’s not necessarily that I wish I could move sooner, but that I’m afraid the higher-ups are doing things behind my back that I have no say in and that this means they won’t care about where I’ll be moving.

If we were having coffee, I’d end with a photo of this evening’s sky at sunset. It’s now past 11:30PM and I’m going off to bed, I think.

Sunset

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 21, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining in with #WeekendCoffeeShare. I just had my last cup of coffee for the day. I drank it out of my 40th birthday mug. That is, one of my two 40th birthday mugs, the one with the unicorn. I also had a slice of homemade cake with it. There’s still some cake left. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Was it seriously blazing hot last week? Now the daytime temperature barely gets above 20°C and it’s been raining most of the week. I tell myself it’s good for nature and at least it’s better than the tropical temps we used to have.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I’m still going strong with my movement goal on my Apple Watch. Yesterday I just about met it because it had been raining all day. I did try to do some stretching and other non-cardio exercise yesterday and today. Boy, does one of the probably rather weak muscles in my upper arm hurt now!

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I did several culinary activities again over the week. On Wednesday, I made another vegan curry. I forgot to take a picture, but it was very tasty.

Yesterday, a staff wanted to make overnight oats because it’s in my day schedule. That day schedule is one thing that needs to be looked at before I move, but that’s a topic for another post. Let’s just say activity-based planning doesn’t work the way I’d envisioned it. Anyway, I said I wanted to make homemade granola. I pulled out a recipe, but didn’t know that there were annoying ads in the way that made it hard for the staff to read the recipe. Plus, this staff rarely cooks or bakes. Thankfully, another staff was able to step in, though it took me having a meltdown and the first staff restraining me before this happened. I finally did make the granola.

The staff apparently got interested, because today when he was assigned to me again and it was too rainy to go outside, he proposed to do a baking activity. We went into the storage room to look for ingredients and asked a more culinary savvy staff for advice. That’s how we got to baking the aforementioned cake. The original recipe called for vanilla, but we didn’t have that on hand, so I improvised and added cinnamon instead. The cake was good, though it was a little too dry for my liking.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that I’ve been hyperfocusing on more fancy things to cook and bake too. For example, earlier in the week or maybe it was last week when making the vegan mango mousse, I found a recipe for a vegan and gluten-free cake. Yesterday, a staff tried to order the ingredients so that I could bake it tomorrow, but the online grocery store the care home orders from didn’t have most of what we needed. That led to a drive to the next town (like I said, it was raining all day, so no bike ride) for the needed ingredients.

Then of course I already baked a cake today. Besides, the one I originally wanted to make tomorrow could best be prepared in a food processor and I still don’t have one. I thought of ordering one yesterday, because Bol delivers the next day, but the day center which serves as the institution’s package collection point was closed today. For this reason, I decided to postpone baking the fancy cake. Thankfully, all ingredients have a long shelf life.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that there’s no progress on the moving front yet. I met with the behavior specialist again on Monday to discuss some concerns. This was a good meeting. Mainly, she reassured me that I’m not required to accept whatever new place the bureaucrats decide will be suitable. Like, obviously I can’t turn down a place because of a minor detail (I always jokingly use the color of the carpet as an example), but so far all the criteria I’ve specified sound reasonable to her.

July 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly recap. July was most of all a hot month weather-wise. It had its highs and lows, but wasn’t as eventful as May or June had been. I consider that an okay thing.

The first half of the month was an uncertain time. I learned in mid-June that I was going to be moving out of this care home, but wasn’t sure of the details. I mean, for all I knew, I could be kicked out to a crisis unit or onto the streets.

It didn’t help that my aggressive behavior got a bit worse in early July. I had another major incident on July 10, in which among other things I told a staff she’d be facing a complaint. I never followed through, because she backed down with her restraint quite quickly. Later, I was told that the way the situation escalated would’ve in fact warranted me being restrained. I’m not entirely sure how much my support coordinator, who told me this, knew about the order of events, because well cause and effect were reversed: I spiraled out of control after the staff tried to restrain me, not the other way around. This particular staff has quite a harsh support approach, so I maintain that it need not have escalated into a restraint-worthy situation.

I will finally have a meeting to discuss my Care and Force Act plan on August 10. My support coordinator will be off work then, but the behavior specialist will attend, as will an independent client confidante. I will hopefully be able to make it crystal clear then that restraint is not a way to de-escalate a situation for me nor is it something that’ll teach me a lesson. Rather, its purpose is solely to keep me from causing significant harm to myself or others.

On July 16, I finally met with the behavior specialist, team leader and my support coordinator and assigned staff to discuss my moving out of this care home. It turned out that there are no plans of single-handedly terminating my care. As I read my housing profile, which will be sent on to the care finding people, I did realize that for some staff, the situation is however rather urgent. It isn’t like this surprises me, but it does kind of contradict the rather fluffy letter I received from the behavior specialist on July 16.

Today, I received a phone call from independent client support. The agency the substitute behavior specialist had recommended, didn’t feel like they could help me, but the one with the client confidante on involuntary care did. I was happy to find out that the same client supporter I’d spoken with several years ago regarding my move from the intensive support home to my current care home, was able to pick up my case.

In other news, today my now ex-wife and I received the letter that our divorce has been finalized. This means we’ll probably soon be talking selling the house. Otherwise, it doesn’t change much.

Over the month of July, I did engage in a few crafty and culinary activities. On Wednesday, I cooked the absolute blandest pasta pesto ever. I cooked it for my fellow residents too, but was so underwhelmed with the result myself that I didn’t even care to ask whether the others liked it. This did motivate me to learn more about the details of cooking beyond blindly following recipes.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 17, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s now 7:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day. I need to take a shower in about half an hour, so will let my post sit for a bit then and return after I’ve had my medication and evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We were supposed to get another heatwave here this week. Thankfully, it wasn’t that bad, but only barely so. It’s incredibly dry though. Here’s hoping for rainy weather soon.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I won’t be having a perfect month with respect to my movement goal on my Apple Watch. It’s not necessarily because of the weather. Rather, last week Wednesday, I stubbed my toe and it led to a small fracture. The staff who was here when it happened (in fact, I stubbed my toe on his shoe) initially thought it was just bruised. Unfortunately, I took this to mean I shouldn’t be nagging even though the next day and the next and over the weekend, my toe hurt like crazy. I ignored the pain and kept walking. Then on Sunday, the pain was so bad that I could barely walk outside at all, so the staff who was with me at the time, said we should ring the GP on Monday. The GP’s nurse practitioner came by on Tuesday and said I probably suffered a small fracture indeed. Since it’s my little toe, nothing can be done, but she did give me naproxen for pain relief. It’ll likely take several weeks for my toe to fully heal, but next week, hopefully I’ll be able to get by with just paracetamol.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I had a meeting with the behavior specialist, team leader, my assigned staff and support coordinator yesterday about the moving plans. It turns out they have no plans of actually kicking me out against my will. They just believe, like the substitute behavior specialist said about a month ago, that a place for people with brain injury may be more suitable for me. Whether finding me a suitable place is possible given my current care profile and the extra support hours etc., will have to be determined. It’s all quite scary, but I’m not as scared as I was before I had this meeting.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I also had a meeting with the intellectual disability physician on Monday. I went down another 1mg of my antipsychotic. I’m now on 6mg of aripiprazole. I can’t believe I was at one point, for many years in fact, taking 30mg.

We also discussed my getting access to my medical records. Thankfully, she gave me permission. The GP will have to sign me into the system though.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I didn’t cook last Saturday or Wednesday, but I did make another batch of granola on Wednesday. The reason I didn’t cook is the fact that I reasoned it’d be too hard for me given the stress of the two meetings I had. All this being said, I did help with preparing my own lunch by cutting up the vegetables I usually have as a side a few times. This was a good experience.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I did engage in a few creative activities over the past week. One involved making polymer clay earrings. The finished project didn’t satisfy me, but the process was fun.

I also created another unicorn-themed chalk pastel drawing. Can’t remember whether I shared this before, but one of the staff is incredibly creative and she at one point came up with this idea. I used a template for drawing the unicorn and of course I know my six-year-old niece can probably do it better than I can, but who cares? I’m more and more appreciating the fact that I can do something rather than focusing on what I can’t compared to non-disabled people.

This brings me to another creative adventure: photography. I’m hoping to soon take more pictures and to actually share them on the blog. I in fact subscribed to a few blogs that have photo prompts and am liking them a lot. I really would like to expand my creative horizons.