October 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! It’s the last day of the month and this means it’s time for my October recap. October was mostly a hard month, but, like I shared yesterday, it ended on a positive note.

I felt unwell with a cold or other respiratory illness for most of the month. It started with a nasty cough that seems to finally be over after nearly three weeks. However, I’m still sniffing and sneezing. Thankfully none of the crippling fatigue I experienced last year.

I tried to engage in meaningful activities and was moderately successful at it. I cooked or baked a few times, but not as often as I’d have liked. I also was a little crafty, mostly in very simple ways. However, because this month was so hard in terms of the bigger picture issues, I’m glad I was able to enjoy these little nuggets of creativity.

My sister visited me three weeks ago. Her husband and kids came along too. It was a good visit, in that I enjoyed spending time with my nieces. Unfortunately, my sister did make a (hopefully unintentionally) judgmental comment about my disabilities by comparing me to a relative who sustained a brain injury relatively recently. In case she reads this: just because my signs of overwhelm aren’t the same as this relative’s, doesn’t mean I’m not overloaded.

No real news on the moving front yet, other than the fact that my current care agency doesn’t have any suitable homes for me to move to at this point but a newly-being-built one is still being considered. Thankfully, the client supporter took over applying to other agencies from my current care agency. This means it’s no longer in my care agency’s power to decide where I’ll move. Not that it ever legally was, but like I said yesterday, I didn’t know my rights until very recently.

My ex-wife / best friend and I are hopefully entering the final stages of the financial aspect of the divorce soon. She recently made me aware of the fact that my explaining the technicalities in detail could have led to people viewing her negatively. This might even have contributed to the idea some of my (former) staff had that I’m not able to make my own decisions. I won’t go into our decisions any further on here but let make me clear that there’s absolutely no reason to believe I’m being taken advantage of by my best friend. Like I said yesterday, I thought I had reason to believe my care agency was (whether with good intentions or not) taking advantage of me. This, thankfully, isn’t the case either.

Misplaced Mistrust

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been weeks since I last wrote a post. I’ve been struggling intensely again, but as of today it looks like the situation won’t spiral entirely out of control. You see, for months now I’ve been suspecting that my institution’s higher-ups, such as the behavior specialist, were making use of the fact that I didn’t know my rights. I more or less know my rights now and quite aggressively fought for them over the past few weeks. At the same time, I knew that, being quite a challenging client who also doesn’t fit in with the institution’s target population, I’d be at risk of being forcibly kicked out if I became too much of a bother. And I feared the fact that I write on my blog about the institution, even though I don’t name it or any individual workers, would cause the higher-ups to panic. In fact, the substitute behavior specialist already did about half a year ago, but was appeased by my transparency (as in, I literally gave her the link to my blog).

The straw that broke the camel’s back was a decision made by my support coordinator two weeks ago further limiting my access to my records. The institution has a digital client portal, but I’ve continually been refused access to it because it’s thought that accessing it would cause me distress. Well, so does not having access to it and that’s a fact, not a suspicion. Besides, even if there’s absolutely no point in me accessing my records, it’s still my right period.

Unfortunately, my support coordinator refused to revisit her decision even after my telling her, with several examples, that transparency would likely lead to increased trust, not more mistrust.

Unfortunately, there are several reasons that my current state of mistrust seems to be fully founded. For example, two weeks ago, I also found out I now have a revised Care and Force Act plan, which more or less is a shorthand version of the plan that already existed and that I rejected based on it basically being an excuse for staff to continue doing as they please with respect to restraint. It wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the fact that the plan not only is entirely unlawful but it had already been sent to the entire team days or even weeks before I was informed of it.

After this and other incidents reinforcing my idea that the higher-ups were willfully making use of the fact that I didn’t know my rights, I spiraled out of control on Tuesday. My behavior wasn’t pretty, even though I only became physically aggressive once restrained for throwing an object onto the living room floor. Because I did become somewhat aggressive, I feard this’d be the final straw for the staff and they’d demand I be sent to a crisis unit. This didn’t happen.

What did happen was a meeting with the behavior specialist on Thursday. On Tuesday, I’d E-mailed her and my support coordinator and assigned staff a pointy list of requests for a final chance at cooperation, followed on Wednesday by a plea for a last chance in case I’d indeed be sent to a crisis unit. My E-mail on Tuesday could have been interpreted as threatening if those involved had had malicious intentions, hence my E-mail more or less taking responsibility for the incident on Tuesday and pleading not to be dragged into a legal fight.

On Thursday, I finally found out that the behavior specialist hardly has a clue what she’s talking about when she tells me something is a rule, because for one thing I’m her first medically emancipated client. She isn’t intentionally breaking the law and hoping not to be caught; she doesn’t know the law This is problematic in that it signifies I should never have trusted her as being the expert, but it does leave more room for that last chance at cooperation.

After the meeting, I E-mailed her thanking her for her transparency about me being her first medically emancipated client and proposed we from now on work as much as possible within a legal framework. I proposed to actively involve the client confidante on involuntary care and the client supporter on this. I also admitted I’d been entirely misguided in my thinking she was abusing her power.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 16, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last touched the blog, sadly. I somehow couldn’t get motivated. Today though, I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s 9:30PM as I start typing this post and I’ll probably go to bed right after finishing it. Will check out my fellow coffee share bloggers tomorrow.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s still been insanely warm for this time of year. Yesterday, the daytime temp even reached 20°C. We thankfully did get some rain.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I have my first proper cold of the year. Yes, the year, not the season. It’s no fun, but I’m intensely grateful I’ve avoided it so far. I mainly have a nasty cough and a little sniff. Of course, I’m a little tired too, but it’s nothing compared to the probable COVID I had a little over a year ago.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. Not my exercise goal, as some days, I can’t or don’t want to go for a longer walk and the side-by-side bike was taken in for repairs last week. I guess I did break it when I had that meltdown on the bike a few weeks ago after all, though it wasn’t solely my responsibility, since the fact that staff denied the problem and kept using the bike most likely didn’t do it any good.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I am still undecided as to whether my food processor thingy was worth the money. I’m leaning towards regretting having chosen this one, but not having had any other one, I can’t know whether it’s this brand or food processors just aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

I did cook a meal using it last week as well as this past Wednesday. Last week, after we figured out how to attach the accessory for blending my sauce, it did a great job. I cooked a pasta dish with roasted bell peppers.

This week, I used the same add-on to chop some garlic and ginger and blend it into a curry paste, but it turned out the care home’s cheap immersion blender did a better job finishing the process than my food processor. I’m not sure whether I somehow broke the equipment or whether it’s just no use for this particular job. I must say my piece of ginger was quite large. Either way, my curry was good after all.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, today, I finally managed to play some with polymer clay again. Nothing fancy, just a simple Christmas ornament and something I might turn into a pendant later on, but it was fun.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I’m struggling intensely with worries about the future, particularly relating to my need to move again. Last week, I found out that it’s unlikely my current care agency will be able to support me, in that their current homes aren’t suitable for me. They have one place that’s currently being developed that the behavior specialist said they’re still looking into. That place would be ideal in terms of distance to my best friend, so I inquired about how seriously this place is being considered, given that it won’t be opened until May of 2027 or maybe even later. No response to that. Then yesterday I found out that somehow it’s been decided that the independent client supporter will take over applying to new places rather than my care agency’s placement person. I asked them whether this means the place I was told about last week isn’t an option after all. No response so far.

I’m struggling with this especially because I’m more and more convinced that there won’t be a suitable place for me anyway. I mean, there’s no doubt there are places in which staff are more able to cope with challenging behavior, but how they choose to cope with it likely won’t be helping me. Like, my last home was officially much more equipped to deal with challenging behavior, but they ended up treating me like trash.

It doesn’t help that, on Monday, a staff who has known me from my previous home and is now a regular substitute staff here, claimed I did much better at my last home and during the first year I was here. This honestly has me feeling that what staff see as me doing well is almost entirely contradictory to how I see it. After all, even though it may not look like it from my blog, my day-to-day quality of life is better than it was three or four years ago.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (October 7, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s really late once again and I’m not sure I even want to write, but I do want to keep my blog semi-active. I’m joining in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge again. Here goes.

1. Let’s embrace it shall we? What’s something you recently forgot to do? Is your memory these days more like a sieve or an elephant?
I forget to do things all the time, but I can’t think of a specific example right now.

As for my memory in general, it’s both a sieve and an elephant. My long-term memory has always been excellent and, though it’s not as great as it used to be, I believe it’s still better than most people’s at my age. My short-term memory though is quite bad at least compared to how it was when I was younger. Worse yet is my ability to sort the important stuff from the mundane, in that I tend to remember details everyone else forgets and forget what needs to be done all the time.

2. Share a trick/strategy you have to help you remember things you need to remember. 
I honestly don’t have one that works yet. I mean, I use an app called Structured to plan my day, but most of the time I just ignore its notifications

I do try to keep engaged in challenging tasks. Currently, these are mostly practical skills. I rarely read longer books these days, but I do try to read and write each day.

3. What’s your favorite fall vegetable to cook with? Do you prefer your fall veggies roasted, blended into a warm soup, or fresh in a crisp autumn salad?
I had to look up examples of fall vegetables, as I’m clueless about what’s in season any time besides summer. My first thought, before I looked them up, was carrot, but now that I know more about what’s in season this time of year, I believe my favorite has to be broccoli. I remember once, many years ago, having a discussion with a staff about the hypothetical scenario in which we had to choose one vegetable to eat for the rest of our life. We eventually settled on broccoli.

As for how to eat my veg, definitely in a stir-fry. That being said, I would love to experiment with salads too. I struggle with soups because they’re too thin to spoon up without making a mess and too thick to drink if they’re at all filling.

4. October 5th is/was National Do Something Nice Day. Did you? If so tell us about it. Or maybe someone did something nice for you, and if that’s the case please share.
I had absolutely no idea there’s even a day for that. It makes me think of the song by Tom Lehrer called National Brotherhood Week. And no, no nice things done by or for me specifically on that day.

5. Nathaniel Hawthorne is credited with the quote “I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house.”  

Do you tend to spend more time outside this time of year?
As long as it’s not rainy, I love to be outside in the fall. However, I wouldn’t say I spend more time outdoors this time of year than I do in the spring or summer (unless it’s incredibly hot during summer).

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in remembering it’s October 7 and this means it’s been three years since the Hamas terrorist attacks on Israel. I’m not an Israel supporter even though I wouldn’t call myself pro-Palestine either. Honestly, this whole day makes me realize why I no longer watch the news more than anything. It’s all so incredibly sad and scary. I used to be quite politically active, but I’d rather stay out of this mess now. For this reason, I honestly don’t know why this reality of it being Oct 7 sits so heavily on my mind today.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 2, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. How can it be October already? How can it not, you might say. I’m joining in wiht #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s nearly 10PM as I start typing this, so no more coffee or other drinks or food for me. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage though and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s unusually warm for October and that’s an understatement. On Tuesday and Wednesday, which I know were technically still September but oh well, the daytime high was 26°C. I don’t think daytime highs under 20°C are in the forecast until later next week.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I did quite a bit of walking over the week. On Tuesday, I even took a walk off institution grounds. The staff who was with me at first wasn’t sure I could walk an uneven path and wanted to stay in the residential area, but I assured her I’d walked the path before. No pictures, unfortunately.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I didn’t engage in any major cooking projects over the week but I did do quite a few small food prep activities. My most elaborate culinary activity was me making a vegan mango and avocado salad with black beans. It was absolutely delish and I regret not having taken a photo.

I also finally think I figured out how to make the perfect smoothie bowl. The key is just about enough liquid to move the blender blades. Another important thing is not to overblend your smoothie. Today, for the first time, I probably had too little liquid at first. I hope this hasn’t caused damage to my blender. This was a quick mid-afternoon snack smoothie bowl, so just banana, pineapple and coconut milk (and a little water once I figured out the blades wouldn’t move otherwise). I didn’t use any toppings this time.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I was also a little crafty yesterday. I made a bracelet. It was slightly too large for me, so I gave it to the staff I made it with.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d moan about the fact that there’s still no news on the moving front. I looked up the institution in the Dutch Bible Belt town. This has caused me some mixed feelings. There’s a documentary series about it on Dutch television right now. It portrays VIC (very intensive care) homes. These are homes similar to my previous home or even more restrictive. Though the staff being filmed aren’t as harsh to the clients as my former staff were, part of the reason is probably the fact that they were being filmed. I didn’t find out that this series was filmed at this specific institution until after I’d shared in an online group that the higher-ups are considering moving me to that one. Now my staff say it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be transferred to a VIC home. They keep telling me the higher-ups truly want a suitable place for me. Then again, that’s what the staff in Raalte back in 2022 said too. I know I’m not so physically aggressive that I need a VIC home, but I also know that it’s not that causing my staff to struggle with me: it’s my way with words. Besides, even at my previous home I was told everybody found me to be challenging Yet at the same time I was being told to my face that I’d always get the least familiar staff and they’d always leave me alone first because I wasn’t physically aggressive. In other words, I was the least physically violent yet almost by extension the hardest to restrain into submission. It’s this power dynamic that’s basically the story of my life and it sucks.

September 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the end of the month already, so I’m writing a monthly recap. September, overall, was a pretty good month. Weather-wise, it was and honestly still is summerlike. This probably contributes to my better than usual mood.

Not much happened in the way of actual progress on the moving and other care-related fronts. This is frustrating, particularly because it means I have little to fall back on should my mood and behavior deteriorate again. I mean, my support coordinator said last week that they’re doing away with my Care and Force Act agreements on restraint and locking the doors. In theory, this could be positive, in that it isn’t written in my plan anymore that I can be restrained or locked up. However, the reason I wanted an agreement was the fact that staff were just doing whatever the heck they wanted to for years. I no longer have a crisis plan, or not yet, depending on your perspective. I had a horribly long and troublesome plan for years, until a few weeks ago my support coordinator and assigned staff just decided to throw it away and rewrite it from scratch. Again, this could be positive, but it could also be an excuse for staff to do as they please. Since things are going okay here now, I’m not kicking up a fuss, but I do want to make sure things don’t go downhill again. Or rather, that when they do, this doesn’t become the new normal yet again and it doesn’t get taken over to my next place.

Like I said, the month was pretty good overall. I enjoyed a few crafty activities and quite a bit of cooking and baking. I also did a lot of walking and biking.

Health-wise, the month was okay. I remember last year in September, I was quite sick with probable COVID. This year, no cold, flu or COVID symptoms yet. I do have chronic abdominal pain. I’ve had it for years and it was always chalked up to irritable bowel syndrome or constipation, but it’s getting worse despite the fact that I eat a pretty balanced diet. I had bloodwork done to rule out celiac disease, had inflammation indicators checked, calprotectin levels in stool, urine tests and yesterday I had a bladder scan. All are normal so far. I don’t mind just dealing with it if it’s clear that it’s IBS, but I’ve always felt that it’s too easily chalked up to that. Just now, I heard that’s what my GP thinks it is after all. She claims the symptoms could’ve gotten worse because of stress. I call bullshit to that, but whatever.

Lastly, I learned in August that now that my ex-wife and I are divorced, I qualify for compensation of my health insurance payments. I however also have a higher long-term care copay. All in all, I get about €30 less than I got before we divorced. I don’t care, as I can still quite easily make ends meet. Besides, I’ll most likely get some money once the house gets sold. No news on that front yet.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 26, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again today. It’s just past 7:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will probably have my evening soft drink before finishing this post. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage too and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been quite warm for September and we’ve hardly had any rain. On Tuesday and Wednesday next week, daytime highs over 25°C are in the forecast again. It’s a blessing and a curse that I alone can’t do much about this climate change thing.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. I did a fair amount of walking this past week but also rode the side-by-side bike several times. On Tuesday, I had a meltdown on the bike and probably damaged it, but it still works.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I didn’t do any cooking this past week except for making some smoothie bowls. On Thursday, I made a vegan carrot cake smoothie bowl topped with pumpkin and sunflower seeds. I’m still trying to figure out the right thickness.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I got an E-mail from the person in charge of applying to potential new care providers at last. The person E-mailing me is responsible for the intellectual disability population here and is still waiting on the one for the brain injury branch of my current care agency. This person will be back at work next week. The one E-mailing me did ssay that they were indeed considering the institution on the Bible Belt I mentioned a few weeks ago.

Because of this, I decided to text my best friend with my concerns. I’d mentioned the town before, but only in passing and I don’t want the powers-that-be to find a place for me there only for me to find out that my best friend can’t or won’t visit me there. As it turns out, though obviously she cannot see herself living there, she pointed out that a lot of my feelings about the place might in fact be prejudice. It’s a long drive from her current house and an even longer drive from where she’s considering moving when the house gets sold, but we’re both okay with that, as both of us (me first, in fact) realize our lives don’t revolve around being together. At least, not anymore, sad as it is.

I had some concerns about the institution itself too. It’s a major intellectual disability institution like the one I’m in now, but it looks like most of the homes cater to people with challenging behavior. That can be interpreted as a good sign or a bad sign. I mean, I definitely have some level of challenging behavior and, if the staff at a prospective home are truly equipped to deal with it, it should be better than my current home. However, just because a home caters to people with challenging behavior doesn’t mean the staff truly know how to deal with it, as my experience at the intensive support home shows. One positive in this respect is the fact that the institution actually follows a particular support approach (and one that I can see working for me if done right). In theory at least, it isn’t just a prison in disguise.

One other positive is the fact that the institution includes several homes specifically for people with brain injury, including those with complex needs. This is the kind of home I’m hoping to move into. I’ve also heard they accept my care profile (funding). Let’s see where this leads.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (September 23, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge once again. Here goes.

1. Fall arrives this week in the northern hemisphere. Does it look/feel like fall where you live?What’s something you love to do this time of year that makes you feel its officially fall?
It doesn’t look or feel like fall here yet. The temps are still in the lower 20s Celsius and a temperature of 25°C (which is called summerlike here) is in the forecast for next week. I do think I heard some staff say that some leaves are starting to color, but not much.

I don’t really have any fall traditions, honestly. To me, it doesn’t officially feel like fall/winter until the clock falls back at the end of October.

2. What’s a small daily task or chore that always seems to fall through the cracks when your schedule gets busy?
Truthfully? Showering. I don’t like the feel of it one bit and it costs me a lot of energy. It’s the first thing that I avoid when I’m too overloaded. I must of course explain here that I don’t do any daily household chores myself, so that leaves only the bare necessities. As such, maybe I should’ve said every daily chore falls through the cracks.

3. What’s something you’re falling for lately?
Cooking supplies and unnecessary food items. I am almost proud of myself for not immediately having ordered the food processor add-on I’ve been wanting ever since I found out it doesn’t come with the main package right when my benefits came in today.

4.  Pumpkin is a popular flavor this time of year.  Are you a fan?
Not a fan per se, but I don’t hate it either. I actually did love the pasta bake I made last week. Since there’s no actual pumpkin in pumpkin spice, I’m not sure whether that’s included in this question but I do think I’d love that. Still wanting to try a pumpkin spice latte.

5. What’s something you wish would never change? Explain.
My friendship with my best friend. We celebrated nineteen years since first meeting last Saturday. I’m scared it will change though. That is, I know it will with both of us moving and expanding our circles etc. as well as both of us learning to be more authentic, but at least I hope it’ll never fully end.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Today, I was talking culinary activities with my support coordinator and mentioned wanting to bake my own bread at least once. She saw how excited talking about it made me! I’m for sure hoping I can give it a try sometime soon. At least she agreed to order flour and yeast.

Food Prep Gives Me Joy #WeeklyWonders

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today in Day One, Automattic’s personal diary app, the daily prompt was to talk about the simple pleasures you’ve enjoyed lately. I’ve always wondered why Day One’s prompts don’t align with the ones on WordPress, but oh well. I don’t like WP’s daily prompt today anyway, as it brings too many sad thoughts. As such, I’m going to share some things that brought me joy lately. And many of those things involve food, of course.

First up are vegan pancakes. I sort of impulsively decided to make those yesterday and they were absolutely delish!

Granted, I did add caramel sauce as a topping, which isn’t vegan, but I don’t care.

Then, in the evening, I decided to try to make a smoothie bowl. I may’ve shared a few weeks ago that I accidentally made one when I had too little coconut milk left to make a drinkable smoothie. This smoothie bowl had the opposite problem, in my opinion, but it was a fun experiment.

I decided to randomly add flaxseed and pecans to the topping. My staff said it didn’t appeal to her, but then again she doesn’t like blueberries anyway. I know this isn’t the most visually appealing smoothie bowl, but it was my first attempt. That is, except for the time many years ago when I thought a smoothie bowl was just a smoothie poured into a bowl.

I’m joining in with #WeeklyWonders today.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 19, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a post yesterday. In fact, I had several ideas in mind. However, by the time I’d sorted through my ideas, it was already past 11PM. One of those ideas was, of course, a contribution to #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m doing that now. I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will soon get my evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, as usual I’d start out by talking about the weather. On Tuesday, we had a gorgeous late summer day with temperatures rising to 26°C. For the rest of the week, temps have been less extreme. In fact, I’m already occasionally wearing a sweater.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’m still meeting my Apple Watch’s movement goal each day. Today, I got my September challenge badge too. I am still mostly exercising by walking, but did ride the side-by-side bike to the next town again on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve finally been claying again. On Monday, I tried to make a unicorn for the intellectual disability physician, who’s retiring in a few weeks. I’d already made her a card, but wanted to make something out of polymer clay too. Unfortunately, we were in a bit of a hurry and it showed in the result. I’m still not entirely sure what the exact problem was, but parts of the thing broke off way too easily.

Thankfully, on Thursday, I was able to give it another try and this time, my unicorn was a success. I used seed beads for the eyes. The green blob on the side that my camera doesn’t properly capture is once again a four-leaf clover.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve been quite active in the kitchen too. On Wednesday, I cooked a zucchini and pumpkin pasta bake for my side of the home. The staff tried to show me how he cuts zucchini, but despite it not working for me,I tried one too many times. This caused me to cut into my thumb. The cut isn’t bad, thankfully. In fact, the most distressing aspect was my fearing the staff would not allow me to cut up my own food anymore. Thankfully, this isn’t the case.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I did some reading again over the past few days. I may’ve shared that my Braille display is perpetually acting up, so I don’t use it by default anymore. Yesterday, I finally figured out how to use Voice Dream Reader, the iPhone’s main accessible book app, without my Braille display. Sort of, that is. I still prefer my Braille display, but until I can get it fixed, I don’t want to use it too often in case I cause further damage.

I also did read a book in the native iOS Books app. I used both my Braille display and VoiceOver’s speech synthesizer for this. The book is called These Bodies Ain’t Broken and it’s an anthology of YA horror stories featuring disabled protagonists. So far, the stories are very good, though I’m beginning to believe being a little hard to understand is a feature of the genre.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d say that there’s still no news on the moving front. I lived in my current care home exactly three years yesterday. It’s making me sad, honestly, realizing that even in supposed long-term living places, I can never seem to make it last. I mean, the longest I’ve ever been in one place during my adult life was just over four years and that was at the psych hospital’s resocialization unit that had been clear from the get-go that my stay there would be temporary. I’m thinking I shouldn’t be commemorating big days like these anymore. I didn’t yesterday, but it’s still hard to completely let go of the grief.