The Wednesday HodgePodge (December 7, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. How are you all doing on this first Wednesday of the last month of 2022? I’m still struggling quite a bit. I might share a bit about this at the end of my post. After all, I’m participating in the Wednesday HodgePodge and the last question allows for us to insert a random thought. Let me get to the first five questions first though.

1. The Hodgepodge lands on National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day. Have you visited the memorial? Any desire to do so? Have you visited other WW2 sites and memorials? Do you think we do a good job of teaching current and younger generations about the events of WW2? Do you think it matters?
I have never visited the Pearl Hahrbor memorial, as I’m not in the United States. I’m not sure about any other WW2 sites or memorials either. I mean, yeah, I was born in Rotterdam, which was heavily bombed during the German invasion of the Netherlands, and I did see the memorial statue many times. Not sure about any museums if that’s what’s meant.

I do think teaching the younger generations about WW2 matters. I’m not sure how well of a job we do, as I’m not even sure how well-educated I myself am and I’m not considered “younger” anymore by most standards.

2. Many books, both fiction and non-fiction have been written with WW2 as the setting. Is this a ‘genre’ you gravitate towards? Share with us a book (or two) you’ve enjoyed that is set in some way around WW2. If you’re not a reader, how about a movie?
I don’t really gravitate towards this genre, honestly. The only book I can think of off the top of my head is Anne Frank’s diary. I loved it when I was a teen, but didn’t fully comprehend the horrors Anne and her family lived through at the time.

3. According to Better Homes and Gardens Magazine there are seven popular color trends for the holidays this year. They are- red and white, Victorian blue, pops of pink, rich shades of green, rainbow hues, black and white, and nostalgic retro colors. Are you ‘trendy’ when it comes to holiday decorating in 2022? How so? Does your tree have a ‘theme’?
No, I’m not trendy at all. In fact, my staff put up my Christmas decorations that I had left over from last year yesterday because I’d completely forgotten. I don’t even have a tree, as the cheap one I bought last year consumed huge amounts of batteries.

4. What’s a current trend you buck?
I have absolutely no idea what’s even currently trending, so no clue.

5. What’s your favorite chocolate something?
I don’t honestly care for actual chocolate. Give me white chocolate, which isn’t real chocolate, instead. If I have to go with something that has a trace of actual chocolate in it, I’m going with a Knoppers cookie bar. These are chocolate-covered waffles with nut cream inside of them.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
We celebrated St. Nicholas at the care home on Monday. I chose not to join my fellow residents in the living room, but I had my treat and presents in my room. For presents, I had a pair of socks and a chocolate letter. I initially thought I found the socks ugly and, while they are a bit on the large side for me and I wouldn’t personally have bought socks with prints on them, my husband convinced me the colors do look good together. They’re blue socks with tulips in various colors (mostly pink and orange) on them. I also got a little rhyme with my presents, as is customary with St. Nicholas. I liked that best.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (November 23, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! I’m still struggling and neglecting my blog as a result. I fear this blog may be coming to an end someday within the not too distant future. Still, I hope not. Today, I’m participating in the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. Have you ever been on a cruise? If so where did you go and how did you like it? If not, do you have any desire to take a cruise someday?
No and I don’t think so. I’ve heard and read about just a little too many cruise ships sinking.

2. Tell us about your Thanksgiving plans…are you hosting? cooking? eating out? turkey or some other main? is it stuffing or dressing in your house? homemade cranberries or cranberries in a can? are pies on the dessert menu? what kind? what are your ‘must have’ sides? Tell us one thing you’re especially grateful for this year.
I’m not in the United States, so no Thanksgiving plans for me. I will be going to Lobith (where my husband lives) over the weekend though. We have been making plans for cooking a chicken and rice curry.

As for something I’m especially grateful for, I’d have to say the support of my mother-in-law. She sticks by me through the rough situation with my care despite being busy with her volunteer job herself.

3. If someone approaches you and asks for money do you give it to them? Do you drop money ‘in a tin cup’ that belongs to a person on the street? Do you have a specific charity you support during the holiday season and/or year round?
I don’t usually give money to people who ask. That includes people on the street. I used to give money to people on the street but stopped doing so after one of them got me to give him a larger than I would normally do amount of money because he had a pitiful but unbelievable according to my husband story. I don’t support any charities either, except for the member organizations I belong to, the Eye Association (for people with eye conditions) and CP Netherlands (for those affected by cerebral palsy).

4. Have you started decorating for Christmas? Is your tree up? Shopping done? Wrapped?
Not at all. I have a few Christmas decorations left over from last year (gave my tree away because it consumed huge amounts of batteries), but I haven’t put them up yet. We don’t do Christmas presents in my husband’s family and I won’t see mine at all. In fact, I can hardly believe it’s just one more month until Christmas.

5. Create your own acrostic using the word THANKS.
Thankful for a
Home to call my own
A husband who supports me
Necessities provided
Kind staff (sometimes) in the care home
Striving to make the best of this life

Of course, that “home to call my own” is in Lobith, by the way.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I had quite a mixed day today. The morning shift was horrible, but the evening shift’s staff at least tried to make up for it, be it consciously or not.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (November 2, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Wow, I don’t think I’ve gone this long without blogging since I started this blog! Over the past week and a half, I didn’t have much to share except for how depressing and frustrating my new care home situation was, something I don’t really want to bother you all with. It seems it might be improving slightly, so I’m back on the blog. I don’t really want to share details though, so instead I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. What about your upbringing are you most grateful for?
Hmmm, this is a hard one, since I endured quite a lot of childhood trauma. I’m going to say the fact that my parents, particularly my father, taught me a lot of academic skills.

2. What are two or three things that bring you comfort?
Essential oils, my weighted blanket, soothing music.

3. Something beautiful you saw today? (or yesterday depending on when it is you’re answering this question)
I am blind, so I don’t technically see anything, but something beautiful I got to experience today was to feel a cosmea flower.

4. Have you ever used a typewriter? Tell us a memory associated with that.
Yes I have. In the fourth grade, I started learning to touch type and we started out on a typewriter even though computers existed back then (1995). The reasoning was, or so I remember, that you can’t correct typeos on a typewriter. I hated learning to type, whether it was on a typewriter or computer.

5. Something you are grateful for today.
Another long walk with a fellow client and staff much like the one we went on two weeks ago. This time, just one staff went with us. This was a little scary for me, especially because the other client can talk triggering topics at times, but the staff cut her off when she did. This walk was also when the staff picked the cosmea flower for me.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
On Monday and yesterday again, I finally was able to be crafty again for the first time since getting into the new care home. Not polymer clay – that for now takes too long -, but I made a bracelet for the staff who were with me those evenings. I unfortunately forgot to take pictures.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 19, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge again. This week’s questions are truly random or at least I cannot see a common theme to them. I don’t mind though. Here goes.

1. What’s something you wish you’d figured out sooner?
That I am the beloved of God and that it really doesn’t matter what my family or anyone else thinks of me in the end, God will ultimately judge my heart.

2. Something from childhood you still enjoy today?
Swimming, playground equipment (when it’s strong enough to carry adult me, such as here at the institution), children’s books.

3. Are you a fidgeter? What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word fidget?
I am a definite fidgeter! The first thing that comes to mind is hair twirling. I’ve done it since adolescence. When I was 21, my autism diagnosing psychologist in fact told me I really had to unlearn it because it was a “serious social handicap”. Thankfully, the only people who agreed were my immediate family, who had more or less abandoned me by this time anyway.

4. Your favorite fall vegetable? How do you like it prepared?
Broccoli! In fact, about a month ago, I was discussing with a former staff what vegetable I’d choose if I could eat only one for the rest of my life and I picked broccoli. It is such a versatile vegetable. I love it cooked plain or with a creamy sauce, stir-fried or even raw in a salad. Next up are carrots. I eat them raw as a side to my lunch almost everyday.

5. What’s something you find mildly annoying, but not annoying enough to actually do anything about? Might you now?
My headphones (the cheap Chinese brand ones I bought six months ago as a replacement for the Bose QuietComfort 45 ones that broke within three weeks of me having bought them) being basically useless as wireless headphones due to the battery draining very quickly. I have been intending to replace them for a few weeks, but can’t decide for sure on a new model. For now, I’m using my AirPods with my iPhone, but this is indeed slightly annoying.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’ve been in the main institution care home for two weeks today and it’s going pretty well. We had some issues early on, among other things with my medication, but all has been sorted now.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 12, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. I haven’t been around in a few days and am not too motivated to write. However, I don’t want to abandon this blog altogether, so I’m participating in the Wednesday HodgePodge for today. Here goes.

1. Thursday (Oct 13) is National Train Your Brain Day. What do you do to keep your brain in tip top shape? Is it helping?
Does reading and writing in English, which is my second language, count? Other than that, not very much. I used to love a word game called 7 Little Words, but it’s not as accessible now as it used to be.

Is it helping? I’m afraid not. I feel like I’ve been slowly deteriorating over the past fifteen years.

2. You can sit with anyone in the world and “pick their brain”…whom do you choose? Tell us why?
Anton Došen, a former professor of psychiatry of intellectual disability here in the Netherlands and the first one (if I’m correct) to describe the discrepancy between cognitive and emotional development.

3. What’s something happening in the world (or your corner of it) right now that you have trouble “wrapping your brain around”?
Too many things to count… Politics, the economy, the war in Ukraine, my staff’s expectations of me… God’s love… etc.

4. On a scale of 1-10 where do you fall in the pumpkin fanclub? (1=blech, 10=make it all pumpkin all the time) Tell us something delicious you’ve tasted recently that had some pumpkin in it somewhere.
Hmmm, I don’t really care for pumpkin that much, unless it’s mixed in with other vegetables in some kind of stew or something. I’ve never had pumpkin spiced anything either.

5. Share a favorite song, book, or movie with an autumn title, setting, or vibe.
I have absolutely no idea.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I am struggling. For one thing, fall is the hardest season for me. For another, settling into my new home is really difficult. Thankfully, I’m getting to know my staff a little and trying to let them know how I feel. This is hard, as I don’t want to be seen as too demanding. I am pretty sure some staff see me as such anyway.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (September 21, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I haven’t blogged in several days. A lot is still on my mind, but I’m too all over the place to write it all down in a coherent way. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it, eventually. For right now, I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. Volume 478. Sounds like a lot. Where were you in 1978? If you weren’t born where were you in 2008?
In 1978, my parents got married. I wasn’t born yet. As for 2008, I spent the entire year on the locked acute psychiatric unit. I got there in November of 2007 and left for the resocialization unit in March of 2009. This year was also the year I started officially dating my partner, whom I married in 2011.

2. Raise your hand if you remember records playing at a speed of 78 rpm? What’s a topic that when it comes up you “sound like a broken record”?
No, I don’t think I remember that. As for the second part of the question, anything that causes me stress or worry can get me talking like a broken record.

3. What’s the last thing you recorded in some way?
I rarely if ever make audio recordings. In fact, I did one once in my private diary app Day One just to see if it’d work. Can’t remember when though. Joyce supposes many will reply with something they’ve added to their DVR, but I have no idea what that even is. So yeah, like her, I’m going with something I wrote down and it’s my worries about the prospective new care home. I E-mailed them to my assigned home staff Monday night.

4. Thursday is the first day of fall (in the northern hemisphere). How do you feel about the changing seasons? Something you’re looking forward to this fall?
Fall is my least favorite season, so I don’t really like this change of the seasons. However, I do look forward to hopefully being able to capture some photos of the amazing fall colors. I’ve heard the main institution that I may move to in two weeks is surrounded by beautiful nature.

5. In what way (or ways) are you like the apple that didn’t “fall far from the tree”?
My mother half-jokingly says that I got all my negative traits from her and all my positive traits from my father. Indeed, I do share my mother’s short temper, but I also share her creative talent. In many other ways, we differ. For one thing, she hates to depend on others (except for my father). For this reason, she can’t stand those in the helping professions, including doctors. This is somewhat worrisome now that she’s in her late sixties and her health is declining. However, she considers me an attention-seeker for accepting care.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’m so nervous! In less than an hour, I will be headed to the main institution to have my first orientation visit with the prospective new care home. I am really hoping it is as good as people say it is. Please all pray this works out for me.

The Tuesday Four (September 13, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Just after I discovered the Wednesday HodgePodge, one of its participants alerted me to another weekly meme called the Tuesday 4. Today, because I’m bored and yet want to write, I’ll join in. This week’s questions are rather simple, yet they allow for much discussion if one so decides.

1. Are you happy with the way your life is going?
Well, it’s complicated. Right now, I’d say yes, but I’ve had to travel quite the bumpy road to get here and there’s still a lot of room for improvement. For example, I would hopefully be even happier with the way my life is going once I’m in a more suitable care home. Besides, the fact that I answer “Yes” to this question, is also dependent upon the fact that I’m in a pretty good mood.

2. Are you planning any trips in the future?
Not trips as in longer travels, but my husband and I just decided to go for a day trip to Zwolle on Sunday in honor of our eleventh wedding anniversary on Monday. Zwolle is the nearest city to where I live in the care facility. We decided to go on Sunday rather than Monday because most restaurants are closed on Mondays.

3. Are you reading anything at the moment or do you plan on reading something interesting?
I am currently reading A Family Torn Apart by Cathy Glass, a foster care memoir. I love fostering and other inspirational memoirs and have read quite a few of Cathy Glass’s other books.

4. What’s for supper tonight at your house?
I live in a care facility, as regular readers know, and we get our meals delivered to be warmed in an oven or microwave. I had potatoes, mixed veggies and a chicken sausage. I rarely choose potatoes from the meal delivery company, but apparently all other choices from the menu were even worse.

As of September 1, the company has decided to provide whole-grain pasta and brown rice instead of regular pasta or rice, something I mostly consider a good thing. The brown rice takes a little getting used to. They also upped the amount of veg in their meals from 150 to 200 grams. I hardly notice it in the pasta or rice dishes and I wonder whether they skipped those. I mean, originally they weren’t providing the whole-grain pasta or brown rice on the so-called “pasta menu”, which I usually pick from, so only the twice a month or so that the regular menu serves pasta or rice as an option was that the healthy alternative. Thankfully, enough people were complaining that the healthier food was not really happening so that they did change it across the board. I wonder whether they did the same with the increased amount of veg though. In any case, I had enough veg in my meal today.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (September 7, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday again, so it’s time for the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here are Joyce’s questions and my answers.

1. Tell us a little bit about the best birthday you’ve ever had.
I honestly can’t decide on any specific one. Birthdays were always stressful when I was a child, but they’ve gotten easier as I got older. Now that I think of it, I’m going to pick last year’s, my 35th, because it wasn’t as loaded as the ones before and I got some of the loveliest presents.

2. In what way(s) have you changed in the last five years?
Five years ago, I was struggling greatly living with my husband. I had already had my first major mental crisis, but not my second or third and I was still trying to uphold the image of myself as the successful psych survivor. As such, the most important way in which I’ve changed over the past five years, is having learned to embrace myself with all my limitations, rather than wanting to prove my capabilities to the world. It’s a delicate balancing act and sometimes I wonder if I’ve swung too far to the dependent side of things. I’m trying to reclaim some of my fierce self-reliance indeed, without losing the self-determination I didn’t have five years ago. For those who don’t know, living with my husband rather than in a care facility wasn’t my choice; instead, I had been kicked out of a psych hospital in May of 2017 for allegedly misusing care. I am so glad my community support team and I eventually came to the conclusion that I needed to be in long-term care after all. Now I need to find the balance between passive dependency and stubborn self-reliance.

3. What’s your favorite thing about the street on which you live?
The fact that the care facility is right at the end of the street, overseeing the meadow, so it’s relatively quiet.

4. The Hodgepodge lands on National Beer Day…are you a beer drinker? What’s a recipe you make that lists beer as one of the ingredients? If not beer, how about yeast?
I can’t stand beer, doesn’t matter whether it’s alcohol in it. I honestly don’t know any recipe with beer or yeast in it. That being said, my father used to make bread from scratch, including “waking” the yeast for the dough. That expression always made me laugh.

5. As I grow older I would like to be a woman (or man, if there are any men in the HP today) who…
Practises expressing gratitude everyday.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Speaking of my answer to #2, I had an interesting conversation with the student staff today. I have as soon as I came here expressed that I’d prefer not to be helped with my personal care by male staff. When discussing this with this student staff a few days ago, I said that I could try to do my personal care myself if there’s no female staff available. This staff either understood this to mean that, if he works on my side of the home, I’ll do my personal care by myself, or I thought he understood it this way. Rather, I had meant it if no female staff are available at all.

It may seem weird that, if I can do my personal care by myself if absolutely necessary, I may want help with it sometimes or most times. The reason has to do with the fact that doing my personal care costs me a lot of energy without giving me much satisfaction at all. I don’t personally feel that self-reliance is an end goal in itself, so I get help with my personal care. Thankfully, my staff agree. Then again, I can’t expect there to always be a female staff in the home, so when there isn’t, I make the choice to invest the extra energy into my personal care in order to preserve my dignity as a married woman.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (August 31, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Okay guys, it’s Wednesday again and this means it’s time to join Joyce for the Wednesday HodgePodge. This week, several of Joyce’s questions are related to Labor Day, which is, what, this coming Monday? Time certainly flies. Here are Joyce’s questions.

1. Something you’ve labored over recently?
Nothing really. I don’t have any large projects I’m currently working on, even though I do need to start thinking about what to create for my husband in honor of our wedding anniversary on September 19. I’m in a crafting rut, honestly. I am, however, working hard on my physical fitness. Does that count?

2. How will you rest on Labor Day?
I probably won’t. It’s a regular Monday here in the Netherlands, so I do have my usual day activities. That being said, if I want to rest, I can do so every single day.

3. Margaret Mead is quoted as saying, “I learned the value of hard work by working hard.” Would you agree? Where and how did you learn the value of hard work?
I don’t think I agree. I worked quite hard in school and college, to the point of autistic burnout, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I value hard work all that much. If anything, by working this hard and subsequently suffering burnout, I learned the value of self-care and rest. Then again, I do realize I’m privileged in this respect, in that I got on disability benefits without any trouble as soon as I turned eighteen and sailed through every re-assessment without any difficulty too.

4. It’s National Eat Outside Day (August 31st). Will you? Do you enjoy dining “al fresco” or do you prefer indoor seating?
I had no idea it was eat outside day in the U.S. and it’s past my dinnertime now, so no, I didn’t. I don’t like eating outside anyway.

5. Somehow it’s the end of August. What was the best day of the month for you and tell us what made it so?
The best day of the month was probably the day my husband took me for a drive to Enkhuizen, 100km away, just for some fish. Either that or last Monday, the day I scored 200% on my Apple Watch’s Movement goal, 300% on my exercise goal (but somehow there’s no medal for that) and received reassuring news on my latest health scare. You see, over the weekend when I was in Lobith, my husband noted a large mole on my back and told me to see my doctor about it. Thankfully, it was nothing to worry about at this point and my staff suggested we keep the picture they took for reference should the mole change.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Today was the last shift for last year’s student staff here. She treated us to French fries and snacks, strawberry cake and she gave me two bars of chocolate. And not just any chocolate, they were stroopwafel chocolate bars. Stroopwafels are my favorite type of cookies, so this is truly awesome. I gifted her a handmade bracelet. She did joke that, since I have money to buy myself an Apple Watch, I should’ve bought her a new phone. After all, her old iPhone was in horrible condition and I’d been nagging her to buy a new one for months, which she finally did a few weeks ago (well, a refurbished one, which I personally would never do). I think she’s happy with the bracelet though.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (August 24, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m late today to write my contribution to the Wednesday HodgePodge. Joyce titles her post something about blueberry waffles, but I’m afraid I ate the last of my blueberries yesterday and I don’t have any waffles either. Oh well. Here are Joyce’s questions.

1. August 24th is National Waffle Day…what’s something you’ve “waffled” on recently?
I’m not sure what to “waffle” means exactly – and to be honest had never heard of the word “waffle” as a verb before. Then again, according to my intro to linguistics professor at uni, every noun in English can be verbed. Anyway, according to a Google search, it seems to mean to blather on about something. Which I just did, I guess. A recent topic I’ve been blathering on about though has been my Apple Watch, which I finally ordered on Sunday and have been fully using as of today.

2. Do you like waffles? Make your own or ‘leggo my Eggo? Any favorite toppings or add-ins? Waffles or pancakes-which do you prefer?
I like good homemade or bakery waffles, but don’t really care for store-bought waffles. I prefer pancakes though. For toppings, both on pancakes and waffles, I love powdered sugar, summer fruit, raisins and/or nuts.

3. Do you have any momentos from this summer (or past summers)? What do you do with them?
I don’t think I do, but once again I’m not sure what momentos are. Are they like souvenirs? In that case, no. I almost got myself something on my and my husband’s day trip to Enkhuizen last Saturday.

4. One thing you’d like to do before summer ends?
Go to the town fair. It started today with a sensory-friendly fair experience with activities such as a merry-go-round etc. I’d like to see the market stalls though, which will be there from tomorrow until Saturday. There will also be some pretty good music or so I’ve heard, but I’m likely to go tomorrow morning, because the daytime temperature is supposed to climb to 33°C.

5. Life is too short to…
Worry about my health. Oh well, how I wish I could stop actually worrying about it. Thankfully, my Apple Watch gives me some sort of sense of control.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Of course, now it’s time to brag about surpassing all three of my activity goals on my Apple Watch today, ie. movement, standing and exercise. I had set my exercise goal lower than the Apple Watch proposed, but my movement goal higher. I’m absolutely loving being able to start workouts on my Apple Watch, something I could never do on my Fitbit because the touch screen is not accessible. I so far really love this new gadget.